Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph given here shows information on number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
overall we can see that manufactring sector which was the on the top postion in the begining having downfall after a rise. Both retail and healthcare having same number of jobs at the end.
In the start which is 1960 the manufacturing sector is on first place having a large gap between the rest of the jobs. It got increased until 1980 where it has a downfall from around 20 million jobs to having around 13 million jobs on the year of 2020. The retail and agriculture seems to have same number of jobs on the year 1960 but as years progressed retail rocket up its job numbers from 5 million to around 16 million jobs.
In case of agriculture jobs it faced downfall from the year 1960 from a number of 5 million to around only 2 million jobs, which is the lest at the year 2020. But retail sector started with the least having only 2 million jobs which rocketed up to around 16 million and has the first place sharing along with the retail sector in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the main broad pattern: manufacturing rises before declining, while retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching about 20 million in 1980 and agriculture ending at around 2 million. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear. Healthcare is omitted from the body, despite being one of the strongest trends, and the final comparison mistakenly says retail shares first place “along with the retail sector”; it is healthcare that ties with retail at about 16 million. The overview also does not clearly summarise the full picture. To strengthen the report, cover all four sectors and compare their rankings and changes accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response has an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs, so there is some basic organisation. The information generally moves from the starting point to later years, and phrases such as “In the start” and “In case of agriculture” signal a change of focus. However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory references: “sharing along with the retail sector” does not identify the other sector, and the final paragraph shifts from agriculture back to retail without a clear transition. Some linking is repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “which” and “from.” Grouping the sectors more systematically and using clear comparisons between their start and end values would make the report easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “jobs,” “increased,” and “downfall,” and the reader can usually understand the intended trends. However, the range is limited and several choices are informal or imprecise for an academic report. “Rocket up” and “first place” sound conversational, while “downfall” is not the most natural way to describe a declining figure; “fell” or “declined” would be clearer. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “manufactring,” “begining,” “lest,” and “postion.” Aim for accurate trend language and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “employment,” “rose steadily,” and “remained the lowest” would improve the report’s style and clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including comparisons across years, but control is inconsistent and errors sometimes make relationships difficult to understand. For example, “overall we can see that manufactring sector which was the on the top postion” lacks a clear grammatical structure, and “Both retail and healthcare having same number of jobs” is missing a finite verb and an article. Tense and sentence construction are also problematic in “It got increased until 1980 where it has a downfall.” Use past-tense reporting consistently, such as “Manufacturing rose until 1980, then declined.” Check articles, subject–verb structure and punctuation, and build longer sentences around a clear main clause.
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