Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the detail about jobs in different four segment of economy in united state from 1960 to 2020.

It commence from Manufacturing where 15 millions job available in 1960 further in 1980 the employment stay at 20 millions then job numbers are decline 16 millions in 2000 and lastly stay 13 mi are llions in 2020.

On the other hand in Retail sector job are 6 million in 1960 further soared over drametically in 1980 employment are 10 million while in 2000 is 15 million and lastly stay at 16 millionin 2020.

In Agriculture segment the job are start from 6 millions in 1960 further decline over the year in 1980 to 2020 the job are job are at same position 3 to 2 millions.

Lastly in Healthcare the job start from 2 million then soared over in 1980 is 5 million while in 2000 is 11 million and stay at 16 million in 2020.

Overall the job are out paced in 2 sector retail and healthcare and in manufacturing is delicine but in agriculture sector job are less from other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover all four sectors and report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and healthcare’s rise from 2 million to 16 million. The broad contrast between growing sectors and declining agriculture is also relevant. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing is given as 16 million in 2000 rather than about 17 million, and agriculture is described as remaining at the same level even though it falls from about 3 million to 2 million by 2020. The overview, “out paced in 2 sector,” is vague and does not clearly identify that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020. Make the main comparisons more precise and distinguish the trends clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: it introduces the graph, discusses each sector in turn, and ends with an overall statement. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, the sector-by-sector paragraphs rely heavily on repeated sequencing words such as “further,” “then,” and “lastly,” making the progression mechanical. Some links are also unclear, particularly the agriculture sentence, where “in 1980 to 2020” does not clearly explain the change over that period. The final overview would work better before the detailed comparisons and should summarise the most important patterns. Use clearer paragraphing and link related trends—for example, compare retail and healthcare as rising sectors—rather than treating every figure as a separate step.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “employment,” “decline,” and “sector,” and the reader can generally identify which industries you mean. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the description difficult to follow. Phrases such as “soared over dramatically,” “stay at same position,” and “out paced in 2 sector” are not natural ways to describe the graph. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “dramეტically” [sic: “dramეტically” should be “dramatically”], “delicine,” and “millions” where “million” is needed after a number. Aim for precise trend language such as “rose steadily,” “remained stable,” and “fell gradually,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect several pieces of information in longer sentences, and the reader can usually recover the intended meaning. However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation recur. For example, “It commence from Manufacturing” needs a correctly formed subject and verb, while “job are 6 million” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The long sentence about manufacturing also lacks clear punctuation and grammatical links between the time points. Most descriptions follow a similar simple pattern, so the range of controlled structures is limited. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use accurate past-tense forms such as “rose,” “fell,” and “remained” when reporting the historical data.

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