Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the graph given demonstrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Starting off with manufacturing, there were 15 million jobs initially but declined by the end of 2020 to 12 million jobs- showing a minimal decrease. the retail sector showed more scope going from 5million upto 16 million by 2020. The healthcare sector did amazingly well by surging to 16 million in jobs (2020) from 2 million (1960) and didnt show a slight decline in any decade. Lastly, agriculture sector showed a tremendrous amount of decline in jobs with no improvements in any decade and fell to 2 million from 6 millions in jobs.

if all the sectors were to be compared, Healthcare and retail would top in acquiring most of the jobs in economy followed by Manufacturing. this graph perfectly illustrates the scope of each sector in the economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several key figures, including manufacturing at 15 million initially and healthcare rising from 2 to 16 million. You also note the broad decline in agriculture. However, the overview is limited: the main shifts—manufacturing peaking in 1980 before falling, and retail and healthcare rising to become the largest sectors by 2020—are not clearly summarised. Some details are inaccurate or imprecise: manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not 12, and healthcare rises throughout rather than simply having no decline “in any decade.” The final comparison is also unclear about which sector leads. The response is 133 words, 17 below the required minimum; use the space to report the main stages and comparisons more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a generally understandable sequence: it describes manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture, then attempts a comparison. Transitions such as “Starting off,” “Lastly” and “if all the sectors were to be compared” help signal this order. However, the paragraphing and progression are limited, with the sector-by-sector details compressed into one paragraph and the overview placed at the end rather than clearly established near the beginning. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “followed by Manufacturing,” which does not specify the relative positions of retail and healthcare. Organise the report into a brief introduction, an overview of the main trends, and grouped detail paragraphs; use comparisons to connect related series rather than relying mainly on sequencing words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “declined,” “surging,” “fell” and “scope,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, some choices are informal or imprecise for an academic report: “did amazingly well” and “perfectly illustrates the scope” sound evaluative, while “showed more scope” does not clearly describe the rise in jobs. There are also noticeable spelling and form errors, such as “tremendrous” and “millions” after a specific figure. Aim for neutral, precise language such as “increased steadily,” “reached,” and “employment.” More accurate collocations and careful proofreading would make the description clearer and more appropriate to the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and most of the trends remain understandable. Some grammatical and punctuation errors are present, however. For example, “there were 15 million jobs initially but declined” lacks a clear subject for “declined”; write “the figure then declined.” In “fell to 2 million from 6 millions in jobs,” the plural form and sentence structure are faulty. Capitalisation at the start of sentences is inconsistent, and the final sentence begins with a lowercase “if.” The response also relies heavily on similar sentence patterns, limiting the range shown. Practise constructing accurate comparisons with clear subjects and consistent past-tense verbs, and check sentence boundaries and punctuation during proofreading.

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