Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

To begin with the healthcare sector there was 3 million jobs in 1960 after that in 1980 about 5 million jobs increased by the time and in recent years healthcare sector rose about 16 million jobs and this was a significant change from 1960 to 2020 in this department. In consideration with other factors agriculture serves around 6 million jobs in 1960 and with the passage of time the number of jobs drastically fall by almost 3 million jobs in 2020.

other then that retail sector surges around 6 million jobs in 1960 and the graph has a slight good performance over the years and this can be upto 16 million in 2020. The final one was manufacturing sector that was a huge number of opportunities for jon in 1960 and had drenched by almost 13 million in 2020.

Overall, the most significant declined happened in agriculture sector in recent years

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including growth in healthcare and retail and a decline in agriculture. However, the overview is incomplete and partly inaccurate: it says agriculture had the most significant decline, but manufacturing also fell substantially, while the clearest overall feature is that manufacturing began highest and healthcare and retail rose to joint-highest levels by 2020. Some figures are misreported: healthcare was about 2 million, not 3 million, in 1960; agriculture fell to about 2 million, not 3 million, in 2020; and manufacturing was about 15 million in 1960, not merely described as a “huge number.” Include the key comparisons and more accurate figures to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from healthcare and agriculture to retail and manufacturing, followed by an overall statement. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “after that” and “by the time” attempt to show change over time. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the sectors are discussed in an uneven order, and the final overview does not effectively summarise the main pattern. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “In consideration with other factors,” and “other then that” are awkward or unclear, while several long sentences combine multiple points without clear punctuation. Grouping related trends and using simpler, more precise transitions would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “rose,” “fall,” and “surges,” and the reader can generally identify which sectors you mean. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for chart description. “Slight good performance” does not clearly describe the retail trend, and “drenched” is not an appropriate substitute for a decline. There are also spelling and word-form problems, such as “jon” and “other then,” and repeated use of “jobs” and “number of jobs” makes the account less precise. Build a reliable set of trend expressions—such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “remained stable”—and check collocations and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences to describe changes over time, but control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “there was 3 million jobs” has an agreement error, while “the number of jobs drastically fall” uses the wrong verb form. The sentence beginning “To begin with the healthcare sector” also lacks clear punctuation and becomes a run-on sequence of clauses. Articles and plural forms are often missing or inaccurate, as in “in agriculture sector.” Most structures are simple or joined with basic time phrases, so there is limited variety. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and divide complex descriptions into shorter, correctly punctuated sentences.

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