Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in millions, in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, emplopyment in retail and healthcare sectors increased considerably over the period, whereas the number of jobs in menufacturing and agriculture declined towards the end. Manufacturing was the largest employer in the earlier years, while healthcare bacame one of the leading sectors by 2020. Agriculture consistently had the lowest figures in the final year.
Looking first at the manufacturing, the number of jobs stood at 15 million in 1960 and rose to peak pf 20 million in 1980. However, this figure subsequently declined to 17 million in 2000 before falling further to approximately 13 million in 2020. In contrast, retail employment increased steadily from 6 milliopn in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. This upward trend countinued, reaching 15 million in 2000 and around 16 million by the end of the period.
Turning to the remaining sectors, healthcare employment grew significantly from just 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980. It then climbed sharply to approximately 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. Meanwhile, agriculture experienced a downward trend, fallinf from 6 million in 1960 in 3 million in 1980. The figure remained stable until 2000 before dropping to only 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5
The response selects the main trends accurately and gives a clear overview: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing falls after its peak, and agriculture ends at the lowest level. The figures for all four sectors are well supported, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and healthcare’s growth to 16 million. Comparisons are also relevant, particularly the contrast between manufacturing and retail and the parallel rise of healthcare. This is a strong, well-developed summary of the graph. To make the account even more complete, clarify that healthcare and retail are joint-highest at about 16 million in 2020; “one of the leading sectors” is accurate but less precise. Also, the overview’s statement that manufacturing and agriculture “declined towards the end” could distinguish manufacturing’s earlier peak from agriculture’s longer overall decline.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The information is organised clearly, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group manufacturing with retail and healthcare with agriculture. The progression within each sector is chronological, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” “Turning to the remaining sectors,” and “Meanwhile” help readers follow the comparisons. This gives the report a logical flow. Some transitions are slightly formulaic, and the repeated pattern of describing one sector and then the other could be made more integrated by directly comparing their figures at key points—for example, noting that healthcare caught up with retail by 2020. The paragraphing is appropriate, and references remain clear throughout.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate and includes useful trend language such as “rose to peak,” “declined,” “climbed sharply,” “upward trend,” and “remained stable.” These choices communicate the data clearly, and there is some variety in how increases and decreases are described. However, several spelling errors—“emplopyment,” “menufacturing,” “bacame,” “milliopn,” “countinued,” and “fallinf”—show that lexical control is not consistently accurate. A few phrases are also less natural, notably “rose to peak pf 20 million”; use “peaked at 20 million.” Greater accuracy in spelling and more precise phrasing would strengthen the report’s vocabulary without requiring unnecessarily complex words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0
The report uses a good mix of simple and complex structures, and many sentences are grammatically controlled. For example, “It then climbed sharply to approximately 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020” is concise and accurate, while “Meanwhile, agriculture experienced a downward trend” provides a clear transition. Some errors remain in grammatical patterns: “Looking first at the manufacturing” uses an unnecessary article, and “falling from 6 million in 1960 in 3 million in 1980” should use “to” before the ending figure. The phrase “rose to peak” also needs the form “peaked” or “rose to a peak.” These issues do not obscure the data, but proofreading prepositions, articles, and verb forms would improve accuracy.
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