Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In 1960, the manufacturing jobs are at 15 and in 1980, this ratio becomes higher to 20 and in 2000 it again becomes less than 20 but it remain up than 15 which means tht it is in between 15 and 20 but in 2020, this ratio downs than 15 . As well in 1960, the jobs in Retail sector in 1960 is about 5.2 but in 1980, it becomes 10 and then in 2000 it becomes 15 and finally in 2020, it becomes 15.2. As well the jobs in the Agriculture sector are 5.2 in 1960 and becomes less like in between 0 and 5 in 1980 and then in 2000, it remains almost same. But in 2020, this ratio becomes more less like 2. Just like the jobs in the healthcare sector in 1960 are like 3 but in 1980, it reaches at 5 and then in 2020, it reaches above then 10 like 12. In the year 2020, this ratio becomes more high 16.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report all four sectors and identify several broad movements, including manufacturing rising to a peak in 1980 before declining and agriculture falling overall. However, the response is mainly a sequence of figures rather than a clear summary of the most important features. It lacks an overview that highlights the major contrast: retail and healthcare grew, while agriculture declined, and healthcare and retail were the largest sectors by 2020. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing in 2000 is described only as between 15 and 20, and healthcare is said to reach about 12 in 2020 before becoming 16, although 12 refers more closely to 2000. Give a concise overview and select accurate comparisons to make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a broadly chronological order and covers the sectors one after another, so the reader can identify the topic of each section of information. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear overview or grouping of related trends. Repeated openings such as “As well” and “in 1960” make the progression mechanical, while the final healthcare figures are confusingly ordered: 2020 is first described as above 10, then as 16. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the main details, and group sectors with similar patterns. Clearer links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile” would help comparisons rather than simply listing each year.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant basic terms, including “manufacturing,” “Retail sector,” “Agriculture sector,” and “healthcare sector,” and words such as “reaches” and “remains” help describe change. However, the vocabulary for trends and comparisons is limited and often imprecise. Phrases such as “this ratio becomes higher,” “it again becomes less,” “downs than 15,” and “more less” are not natural ways to describe job numbers, and “ratio” is not the right noun for the figures. Repetition of “becomes” also restricts the report’s range. Build a small set of accurate chart verbs and comparison phrases, such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked at,” and “stood at,” and use “number of jobs” or “employment” instead of “ratio.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect several time points in longer sentences, and the reader can generally follow the intended trends. However, sentence structures are repetitive, and errors in agreement and verb forms occur frequently enough to make some statements awkward. For example, “the jobs … is about 5.2” has a plural subject with a singular verb, while “it remain up” should use a past-tense verb and a clearer construction. The opening sentence also runs through several years without effective punctuation, making the relationships between clauses difficult to follow. Practise writing shorter, controlled sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, then add a few accurate complex sentences using “while” or “whereas” to compare sectors.

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