Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates the number of jobs in millions across four sectors of the economy in the United States (US) from the 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the numbers rises drastically in some sectors and a little fluctuation can be clearly observed in a couple of sectors.

The healthcare sector has exprienced the largest rise, which was starting at approximately 2 million jobs in 1960, then climbing at about 16 million in the year 2020. Similarly, retail industrie's jobs has replicated the progration of healthcare sector by increasing about 5 million jobs every two decade that was about 6 million to approximately 16 million from 1960 to 2020, respectively.

In contrast, manufacturing and agriculture sectors has experenced decline from there inital position. Which was 15 million and about 6 million in the year 1960 then droping gradually at approximately 13 million and 2 million in 2020, respectively. There seems to be a constant job market in agricultural sector for two decades from 1980 to 2000. Where as, maufacturing peacks at 20 million in 1980 but keeped on falling till 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall contrast: healthcare and retail rise, while manufacturing and agriculture finish below their starting levels. The key figures are generally accurate, including healthcare’s increase from about 2 to 16 million and manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million. You also note agriculture’s stability from 1980 to 2000. This gives the report a clear overview and relevant supporting details. However, the overview is broad (“numbers rises drastically in some sectors”) and does not clearly highlight that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, becoming the joint largest sectors. The claim that retail increased by about 5 million every two decades is also an over-generalisation: its increases were about 4, then 5, then 1 million.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs comparing rising and declining sectors. This makes the main progression easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Similarly,” and “In contrast” help signal relationships. The half-step beyond a basic arrangement is visible in the grouping of related trends, but cohesion is not consistently controlled. For example, “Which was 15 million…” is an incomplete sentence referring back to the previous clause, while “Where as” begins another fragment. The final paragraph also moves between agriculture and manufacturing without a smooth transition. Connect these details in complete sentences and use clearer references to the sectors to make the progression more fluent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “approximately,” “climbing,” “decline,” and “peaks,” and the reader can generally understand the trends being described. However, the range and control are limited by repeated or inaccurate word choices and several spelling errors. “Replicated the progration” is not a natural way to describe a similar trend; “followed a similar upward trend” would be clearer. Other errors include “exprienced,” “experenced,” “inital,” “droping,” “maufacturing,” and “peacks.” Phrases such as “numbers rises drastically” and “a little fluctuation” are also imprecise for the data. Use accurate trend language and check spelling and collocations carefully; this would make the report more precise and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex structures, including relative clauses (“which was starting at…”) and contrastive sentences. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries are frequent enough to affect fluency. For example, “the numbers rises” should be “the number of jobs rises,” and “manufacturing and agriculture sectors has” should be “the manufacturing and agriculture sectors have.” The phrase “Which was 15 million…” is a sentence fragment, as is “Where as, manufacturing…”; these should be joined to the preceding sentences. There are also tense and pattern problems in “was starting at” and “keeped on falling.” Practise forming complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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