Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

the graph below illustrate for the marks of job in four sector of the economy in the usa between 1960 to 2020

i see many many feautures like manufacturing rate lower to increase and the retail hoigher to lowers values i would talk about body paragraph one and tow decribe

in 1960 jobs manufacturing very higher increasing points and the retail very lower to higher in 2020 and no results the agriculture and healthcare no same to view the graph ,

i would describe same values in all years in 1960 retail lower wich as 1980 very lower value and the same value 2000 and befor normal increase 2020 and the manufacturing value lower in 1960 and most high valu in 1980 and the very higher value 2000 and befor 2020 is vaer good performance and good more then higher incresing points aver year from this i am of the view the manufacturing is very good incrising points

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the graph’s subject and attempt to discuss manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, but the main features are not reported clearly or accurately enough. For example, you say manufacturing is “increasing points” and has a “very higher value” in 2000, although it peaks in 1980 and then declines. Retail is described as both rising and having “lower” values, while the key pattern—healthcare rising to match retail at about 16 million in 2020—is missed. Agriculture is mentioned but its steady decline is not explained. To improve, give a concise overview of the contrasting trends, then select a few accurate figures to support each one.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and body paragraphs, and you signal this with “body paragraph one and tow.” However, the ideas do not develop in a clear sequence: the response moves between sectors and years, repeats claims about manufacturing, and does not establish a distinct overview. Phrases such as “no results the agriculture and healthcare” make the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the main comparisons, and order details chronologically or by trend. Simple linking expressions such as “By contrast,” and “Meanwhile” would help connect comparisons without repeating the same point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” and “value,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or spellings make the message hard to interpret: “feautures,” “hoigher,” “incresing points,” and “good performance.” Phrases such as “very higher” and “lower to higher” are not natural ways to describe graph trends. Build a small set of accurate trend expressions and use them consistently—for example, “rose,” “declined,” “reached a peak,” and “remained stable.” Check spelling and choose precise nouns such as “number of jobs” rather than “marks of job.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response shows an attempt to form longer sentences and use time references, but grammatical control is limited. Errors in sentence structure and agreement appear in “the graph below illustrate” and “manufacturing rate lower to increase,” while missing verbs and articles occur in phrases such as “in 1960 jobs manufacturing very higher.” Tense and comparison patterns are also unclear in “the retail very lower to higher in 2020.” These problems often make it difficult to understand exactly what changed. Practise complete subject–verb sentences, such as “Manufacturing employment rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980,” and use past-tense verbs consistently when describing the historical data.

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