Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph campares the employment in four sectors of US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Retail and healthcare offers the most employments during this period. While, the number of employment decrease in manufacturing and agriculture.The lowest number of jobs provided by agriculture sector in US economy.

Retail and healthcare provides the maximum number of jobs during this period. Retail jobs hovered between 6 million to 15 million from 1960 to 2000, after that there a small rise in number of employment in the last two decades. Healthcare,show a dramatic rise in jobs, begins from only 2.4 million jobs in 1960 and reached upto 16 million jobs that equavilent to jobs in the retail sector.

The number of employments decline in the manufacturing and agriculture sector. Manufacturing used to provide the most number of jobs in 1960 around 15 million and rise to 20 million jobs in the next two decades, after that its downfall start and jobs in this sector started decreasing from 20 million to nearly 14 millions jobs only. The number of jobs in agriculture sector starting from 6 millions in 1960 and drop to 2.5 millions untill 2020. A less dramatic decrease as compared to manufacturig , as only 3 millions jobs lost in this sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, agriculture falls, and healthcare grows strongly. The overview also notes agriculture as the smallest sector, which is supported by the chart. Several relevant figures and comparisons are included, such as manufacturing’s rise from 15 to 20 million and healthcare reaching 16 million by 2020. This gives the report a clear factual basis. However, the overview is not fully accurate: retail does not decline, and healthcare only matches retail in 2020, rather than both offering the most jobs throughout the period. The retail trend after 2000 is also described vaguely, and some figures are slightly inaccurate. A more precise overview and clearer coverage of the changing rankings would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs discussing the growing and declining sectors. This helps the reader follow the main categories of information. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and ideas are repeated: the claim that retail and healthcare provide the most jobs appears in both the overview and the next paragraph without adding much. Some linking is awkward or incomplete, as in “While, the number of employment decrease…” and “after that there a small rise.” The final comparison about agriculture losing fewer jobs than manufacturing is relevant, but it arrives abruptly. Use clearer links between time periods and avoid repeating the same general point so that the report develops more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “hovered,” “dramatic rise,” “decline,” and “downfall,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you describe. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. “Employment” is repeatedly used where “jobs” or “the number of jobs” would be more natural, and “offers the most employments” is not idiomatic. “Downfall” is also too dramatic for a gradual decline in manufacturing jobs. Spelling errors such as “campares,” “equavilent,” and “manufacturig” reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language and check spelling; vary expressions such as “rose,” “increased,” and “grew” without forcing less suitable vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to use both simple and more complex forms, including time clauses such as “after that” and comparisons between sectors. The main trends remain understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, sentence boundaries, and punctuation recur. For example, “Retail and healthcare offers” should use a plural verb, while “Healthcare, show” has an unnecessary comma and incorrect verb form. In “after that there a small rise,” the sentence is missing a verb, and “the number of employment decrease” has a subject–verb agreement problem. Some sentences also run together without clear punctuation. Review agreement and past-tense reporting, and proofread sentence boundaries while retaining the range of structures you are attempting.

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