Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the job market and healthcare experienced substuntial growth, with both sectors ending up having the largest employers. In contrast manifecturing and agriculture showed tottal downrad, despite the manifecturing dominating the workforce for most of the timeframe.

In 1960, manifecturing was number one leading the employment sector with 15 million and reached its peak in 1980, with 20 million. This was before it experienced steady decline through years of 200 and 2020, approximately dropping to 13 million. In contrast, Agricultural sector started at 6 million jobs and dropped to 2.5 million in the last 4 decades.

Looking at expanding sector, the retail industry began with 6 million jobs in 1960 and grew steadily each decade. Healthcare witnessed very dramatic rise, starting as the smallest sector of 2 million jobs in 1960, climbing rapidly to 5 million in 1980, 11 million in 2000 and ultimately matched retail 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address the task with a clear overview: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare grow, and you identify manufacturing’s early lead and healthcare’s rise to joint-highest by 2020. The figures you give for manufacturing and healthcare are broadly consistent with the chart. To make the account more complete, report retail’s endpoint of about 16 million and clarify that it overtakes manufacturing by 2000; “grew steadily each decade” is relevant but lacks supporting figures. The overview’s claim that “the job market” grew is too broad, since the chart shows four separate sectors rather than total employment. Also, agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, not 2.5 million. More precise comparisons and a little more support would strengthen an otherwise well-focused summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised into a clear introduction, overview and two detail paragraphs, and the progression from the overall trends to sector-specific figures is easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “Looking at” help signal shifts between ideas. This is a coherent arrangement, though some connections are slightly mechanical or unclear. For example, “In contrast manifecturing and agriculture…” needs punctuation after the linking phrase, and “This was before it experienced…” makes the reference to the manufacturing peak less direct than it could be. The final paragraph groups retail and healthcare effectively, but retail receives little detail compared with healthcare. Use more precise references and balance the comparisons to make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a useful range of task-related vocabulary, including “experienced,” “steady decline,” “climbing rapidly,” and “dominating the workforce.” These choices help describe trends, but inaccurate spelling and collocation are noticeable and sometimes distract: “substuntial,” “manifecturing,” “tottal downrad,” and “Agricultural sector” are problematic. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “number one leading the employment sector” and “Looking at expanding sector.” Choose standard chart language and check spelling carefully; for example, “manufacturing was the largest sector” is clearer and more precise. The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main trends, but more accurate word forms and natural combinations are needed for stronger control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the contrast structure “despite…,” the time clause “before it experienced…,” and the participle phrase “starting as the smallest sector…”. Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors persist. In “with both sectors ending up having the largest employers,” the construction is awkward and the comparison is unclear; “both sectors ended as the largest” would be more controlled. “In contrast manifecturing…” also needs a comma after the introductory phrase, while “through years of 200 and 2020” has an unclear time expression. Keep the past tense consistent and check articles and sentence boundaries. Greater accuracy in these patterns would improve an otherwise understandable mix of structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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