Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph chart illustrates the percentage the number of people employed in four sector of US economy from 1960 to 2020.

overall, two main sector leading the highest potions in the graph while other two are falling down . the number of people employed in retail and agriculture increased over the period however its the most noticable change in this whole graph .

In details , in 1960 ; retail and agreculture was the second lowest positions and after decades its change significantly. In 2020, It was the highet figure among other two graph .they increased gradually and then reach at the peak.

In contrast , In 1960, manufacturing sector was the most upward and it increased at 20 millions in 1980 then suddenly it start dropping until 2020 it reach approximiately 14 millions . Moreover another sector is healthcare thats the lowest from all the other sectors . At first it was around 5 millions but suddenly its dropped and then start reamin in the same positions at the end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to describe the four sectors and includes a broad comparison between manufacturing and the other categories, but several key trends are misreported, which leaves the task only partially addressed. Most importantly, retail and agriculture did not both increase: retail rose from about 6 to 16 million, whereas agriculture declined from 6 to 2 million. The overview also says two sectors were “falling down,” although healthcare rose substantially, from about 2 to 16 million. Some figures and directions are confused too: healthcare is described as starting at 5 million and then dropping, while manufacturing’s peak and later decline are broadly recognised. To improve, identify the main overall patterns accurately, then support them with selected figures for each sector.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details, and it uses contrast markers such as “In contrast” and “Moreover.” These features give the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression is not consistently clear: the overview groups retail with agriculture despite their opposite trends, and the detail paragraph shifts between sectors without a reliable sequence. References such as “it,” “they,” and “other two graph” make it difficult to tell which data series is being discussed. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically rather than to show a precise relationship. Organise the details by sector or by contrasting trends, and repeat the sector names when pronouns could be ambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “dropping,” “peak,” and “millions,” and attempts to describe change over time. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes obscuring the intended meaning. For example, “highest potions” does not clearly express the highest figures, and “most upward” is not a natural way to describe the manufacturing sector’s position. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “agreculture,” “highet,” and “approximiately.” Use precise terms such as “employment,” “rose,” “declined,” and “reached a peak,” and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including a contrastive sentence beginning “In contrast,” and a sentence describing manufacturing’s rise and subsequent fall. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships difficult to follow. Examples include “two main sector leading,” “retail and agreculture was,” and “it start dropping”; these show problems with agreement and verb forms. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, as in “2020, It was the highet figure among other two graph .they increased.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and subject–verb agreement, and use shorter, clearly punctuated sentences before attempting longer comparisons.

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