Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the proportion of jobs in four distinct sectors- Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in United Nation over a 70 year period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that retail and healthcare consistently maintained the highest number of job sectors United Nation , experiencing a slightly upward trends over a period. Conversely, Agriculture saw steady decline in job sector. Meanwhile, job sector in Manufacturing area showed fluctuation throughout the entire timeframe.

Looking at the details, Manufacturing started with the highest job sector cover just around 15 millions in 1960 after that it reached 20millions in 1980 and dropped dramatically from roughly 17 millions to just under 14millions . In stark contrast, retail and agriculture both started job sectors from the same point. Retail's job sector climb significantly from around 6 millions in 1960 to approximately 16 millions in 2020 . However, agriculture began at around 6%in 1960 same as retail but fell gradually roughly 3% by the final year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several relevant patterns, including manufacturing’s early lead, retail’s rise, and agriculture’s decline. However, the overview is partly inaccurate: retail and healthcare did not both remain the highest throughout; manufacturing was highest until 2000, while healthcare only reached 16 million in 2020, matching retail. The report also omits healthcare’s substantial growth from about 2 million to 16 million, an important feature, and gives no clear account of retail’s level in 2000. Some figures are misreported: agriculture fell to about 2 million, not 3 million, in 2020, and manufacturing ended at about 13 million rather than “just under 14.” The response therefore covers the task only partially, with relevant but underdeveloped comparisons. Prioritise an accurate overview and report the main changes across all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph of details. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Conversely,” and “Meanwhile” help signal relationships between trends. However, progression is weakened by unclear or incomplete comparisons. For example, the manufacturing sentence moves from 1980 to a fall “from roughly 17 millions” without clearly stating that this is the 2000 figure, then gives the 2020 value. The overview also groups retail and healthcare together despite their different trajectories. Some connections feel mechanical, and the final paragraph does not cover healthcare or fully organise the data by period or trend. Use clearer sequencing and explicit time references, and group related series while ensuring each comparison follows logically.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “fluctuation,” “decline,” “climb significantly,” and “in stark contrast,” showing an attempt to describe change rather than simply list figures. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which limits precision. “Proportion of jobs” is unsuitable because the graph reports numbers, while “highest number of job sectors” confuses sectors with jobs. Phrases such as “job sector cover” and “job sector in Manufacturing area” are also unnatural, and “millions” is repeatedly used where “million” is needed after a number. Aim for precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” and “rose to,” and vary your descriptions of increases and decreases. This would make the account clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including a complex overview beginning “Overall, it is clear that…” and contrastive sentences using “Conversely” and “Meanwhile.” The main meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical control occur across the response. For example, “Manufacturing started with the highest job sector cover just around 15 millions” lacks a clear grammatical structure, and “after that it reached 20millions … and dropped” leaves the subject of “dropped” unclear. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “an upward trends” and the inconsistent spacing around punctuation. Build simpler, complete clauses first, then add accurate comparisons and time phrases; check subject references and singular/plural forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.