Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The chart illustrates the number of jobs in four different areas in the USA from the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, there was a rise in the numbers of jobs in retail and retail sector. In contrast, manufacturing and agriculture areas had reduction in their jobs number.

In the year 1960, retail and healthcare area had around 5 millions jobs and around 2 millions jobs respectively, Both of these sectors job numbers rose in stable manner and reached nearly 15 miilions and just above 10 millions in retail and healthcare respectively and finally reached just above 15 millions in 2020 for both areas.

There was a steady growth in the job numbers for manufacturing area from the year 1960 to the year 1980 from 15 millions to 20 millions before dropping to approximately 13 millions in the final study year. In the other hand, there was gradual decrease in the job numbers in agriculture from just above 5 millions in the year 1960 to around 3 millions in the year 1980 before reaching to around 2 millions in the last year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the overall contrast between the growing employment in retail and healthcare and the declines in agriculture, and you report several relevant figures. The manufacturing account also captures its rise to a peak in 1980 followed by a fall. However, the overview says both manufacturing and agriculture declined, which misses manufacturing’s initial increase, and it repeats “retail” rather than contrasting manufacturing with agriculture. Some details are unclear or inaccurate: retail was about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and it reached about 16 million by 2020, while healthcare rose from 2 to 16 million. The description of retail and healthcare as rising “in a stable manner” is also imprecise. A sharper overview and more accurate comparisons would make the key features clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information, and phrases such as “In contrast” and “before dropping” help signal changes. However, the overview’s repeated reference to retail makes the comparison confusing, and the third paragraph groups retail and healthcare but then gives their figures in an unclear order (“in retail and healthcare respectively”). The final paragraph switches to manufacturing and agriculture without a clear linking comparison; “In the other hand” also does not connect the contrast naturally. Use more precise references and organise the details consistently, for example by grouping the rising sectors together and then the declining or fluctuating sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “steady growth,” “gradual decrease,” “dropping,” and “reached,” so the main movements are usually understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are awkward or repetitive: “jobs number,” “job numbers rose in stable manner,” and “areas” are less natural for describing employment sectors. “Retail and retail sector” is also an evident repetition that weakens precision. There are spelling errors in “miilions,” and “millions” is repeatedly used where “million jobs” would be more idiomatic. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in the retail sector,” and “rose steadily.” This would improve precision without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “before” and contrasts between sectors, and the overall meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “retail and healthcare area had” needs plural agreement and a more suitable noun, while “Both of these sectors job numbers” has an incorrect possessive structure. The sentence beginning “In the year 1960” also contains a comma splice between “respectively” and “Both.” Articles and prepositions are sometimes missing or inaccurate, as in “in stable manner” and “before reaching to around 2 millions.” Review agreement, possessives, articles, and sentence boundaries, and vary sentence structures while keeping each comparison grammatically controlled.

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