Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrate the percentage of the number of people employed in four sectors of US economy from 1960 to 2020 .

Overall, two main sectors showing the highest proportionsin the graph, while the other two are falling down . The number of people employed in retail and agriculture increased over the period however it is the most noticeable changein this whole graph .

In detail, In 1960, retail and agriculture were the second-lowest positions and after decades they changed significantly. In 2020, it was the highest figure among the other two graph . they increased gradually and then reached the peak.

In contrast,In 1960; the manufacturing sector was the highest and it increased to 20 million .In 1980, suddenly it started dropping until 2020, It reached approximately 14 million . Moreover, another sector healthcare thats the lowest of all the other sectors .At first it was around 5 million ut suddenly it dropped and then started remain in the same position at the end .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies some relevant features, including manufacturing as the leading sector in 1960 and its rise to 20 million before declining. However, the overview is unclear and contains major inaccuracies: it says retail and agriculture increased, although agriculture fell from about 6 million to 2 million, and later claims two sectors were falling when retail and healthcare rose overall. Several figures and trends are confused: healthcare began at about 2 million, not 5 million, and did not drop or remain level; it climbed to around 16 million. The account also does not clearly compare the four sectors across the period. To improve, give an accurate overview of the contrasting trends and support it with a few correctly selected figures for each sector.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, an attempted overview and two detail paragraphs. The use of markers such as “Overall,” “In detail” and “In contrast” shows an effort to organise the report. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview is contradictory and the detail paragraphs shift between sectors without clear comparisons. Some linking is inaccurate or mechanical, and references such as “the other two graph” do not make clear which sectors are meant. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together would create a clearer sequence. Use transitions only where they express the actual relationship between the data, and make each paragraph develop one coherent comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “increased,” “dropping,” “highest” and “peak,” so the reader can recognise that it is describing trends. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate, such as “highest proportions” for numbers of jobs and “falling down.” Repetition of “sector” and “increased” also limits precision, while “second-lowest positions” is an awkward way to describe the figures. Spelling and spacing problems, including “proportionsin” and “changein,” further reduce control. Build a small range of accurate trend language and use terms such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and some basic clauses communicate the intended trend, for example, “In 1980, suddenly it started dropping until 2020.” However, sentence control is inconsistent. Subject–verb agreement is incorrect in “The graph illustrate,” and several sentences are fragments or run-ons, including “In 2020, it was the highest figure among the other two graph . they increased gradually.” Tense and clause structure are also unreliable, as in “another sector healthcare thats the lowest.” Capitalisation and punctuation are frequently misplaced, particularly after sentence openings and around commas. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles, tense consistency and sentence boundaries.

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