Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the provided graph below provide imformation about number of vaccencies in four branches of Ecnomics in US during 1960 and 2020.

Overall , the process consists of four branches of vaccencies beginning , from 1960 and ending at 2020.

initially , 1960 there was great no of jobs in Manufacturing sector 15% , and only 5% jobs in Retailer Section as well as 4% in Agricultural sector and just 2-3% job was aviliable in Healthcare department. Following this in 1980 there was rapid increased in Manufacture industry about 20% there was 5% raised as comapred to previous 10 year and there was 10% job in Retail sector and 5% jon in Agri

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the chart’s subject and reports some relevant figures, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail at around 10 million in 1980. However, it does not provide a meaningful overview of the main trends: the statement that the graph “consists of four branches” does not summarise what changed. The account stops partway through the 1980 data, omitting the later years and the important rise in healthcare and retail, as well as the decline in agriculture. Several figures are also inaccurate or use the wrong unit: the chart shows jobs in millions, not percentages, and retail and agriculture were both about 6 million in 1960. The response is also below the required 150 words. Include a complete overview and compare all four sectors across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the report, beginning with an introduction, followed by an overview and then a chronological account. Time markers such as “initially” and “in 1980” help indicate sequence. However, the overview does not communicate the chart’s main patterns, and the response ends abruptly at “5% jon in Agri,” so the reader cannot follow a complete comparison or see how the account develops. The long sentence beginning “Following this in 1980” also combines several figures without clear separation. Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and key details, group related trends, and complete each sentence and comparison. This would create clearer progression rather than relying mainly on time order.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “Manufacturing sector,” “Retail,” and “Healthcare department,” and attempts to describe change with “rapid increased” and “raised.” However, word choice and spelling are often inaccurate, which makes the report less clear: “vaccencies” is not appropriate for jobs, “branches of Ecnomics” is an awkward description of sectors, and “Retailer Section” does not match the chart label. There are also repeated spelling errors such as “imformation,” “comapred,” and “aviliable.” Use the chart’s precise labels and a small range of accurate trend verbs, such as “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable.” Avoid “%” when reporting the number of jobs.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both an overview sentence and longer sentences describing figures, but grammatical control is inconsistent. For example, “the provided graph below provide” has subject–verb disagreement, while “there was rapid increased” uses an incorrect grammatical form. The opening sentence also lacks an article before “number,” and the phrase “initially, 1960 there was” is not formed correctly. Punctuation and spacing are uneven, and the final sentence is incomplete, ending with “Agri.” These problems make relationships between figures harder to follow. Practise accurate simple past-tense sentences first, then combine comparisons with controlled clauses—for example, “Manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980, while agriculture fell to 3 million.”

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