Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph shows the number of job in four different sectors in US from 1960 to 2020. The data give in millions.

Overall Retail and Healthcare saw a continuous increase in jobs over the period. While Agriculture had the steady declined over the period. And the Manufacturing was the highest jobs sector in 1960 but it was replaced by the Retail and Healthcare in 2020.

In 1960 Manufacturing was the biggest sectors with 15 millions jobs. Retail and Agriculture had started at the same in 1960 which is 6 millions, While Healthcare had the lowest number at 2 million. By 1980 Manufacturing was Again reached its highest point 20 millions, and retail grew up to 10 millions. While the agriculture had declined 3 millions in 1980 and Healthcare was increased by the 5 millions in 1980

Between 1980 to 2020 Manufacturing consistently decreased 16 millions, While the other hand Retail had grow over the 15 millions and Healthcare also increased and reached by the 16 millions. Agriculture remained the lowest sector and finishing around 2 millions in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You provide a clear overview of the main patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing changes from the leading sector to being overtaken by 2020. The key figures are generally well selected, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall to about 2 million. One notable inaccuracy is saying manufacturing “consistently decreased 16 millions” from 1980 to 2020; it fell from 20 million to around 13 million, with an intermediate value of 17 million in 2000. The final comparison is also slightly imprecise: retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, rather than clearly replacing manufacturing as separate leaders. More precise reporting of these changes would strengthen an otherwise well-focused summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview and two chronological detail paragraphs, so the reader can follow the broad development of the sectors. You also group related information, such as the 1960 starting figures and the later changes. This clear structure is a strength. However, progression is sometimes interrupted by sentence fragments and awkward links, for example, “While Agriculture had the steady declined” and “While the other hand Retail…”. Repeated use of “While” and “and” makes connections feel mechanical rather than flexible. Improve the flow by using complete sentences and clearer contrasts, such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile,” and ensure each paragraph moves smoothly from one time period or comparison to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “continuous increase,” “declined,” “remained the lowest,” and “reached its highest point.” These choices make the main movements understandable. However, the range and control are limited by repeated basic wording and several inaccurate collocations or forms, such as “grew up to,” “had grow,” “reached by,” and “the biggest sectors.” Some phrases, including “the steady declined,” also make the intended meaning less natural. Aim for precise chart language: “rose to,” “increased,” “fell to,” “peaked at,” and “the largest sector.” Greater variety in verbs and more accurate combinations would make the report clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine information using longer sentences and contrast clauses, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors occur frequently in basic sentence construction and verb forms, which limits accuracy. Examples include “The data give in millions,” “Retail and Agriculture had started at the same,” and “Manufacturing was Again reached its highest point.” There are also problems with articles, agreement and plurals, as in “the biggest sectors” and “15 millions jobs.” Several clauses beginning with “While” are incomplete, and capitalisation after commas is inconsistent. Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences, then check tense and number agreement; for example, “Manufacturing reached its peak at 20 million jobs in 1980.” This will make your comparisons easier to follow.

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