Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph depicts the information about employment numbers across four sectors of US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Onward from 1960, we can see a stable increase in the three sectors for certain years these includes manufacturing, retail , healthcare. However, Agriculture fell slowly after 1960. The significant change can be seen in retail as it skyrocketed from starting.

In 1960 Manufacturing sector had the most jobs which was around 15 million. In contrast retail and agriculture had similar amount of jobs more or less 6 million. While Healthcare sector was the smallest sector in this period of time, we can see a gradual increase in this sector following years. In aroud 1970s Healthcare sector genuinely crossed agriculture in more jobs opportunties.Beside all this two other sector did good until 1980. In 1980 manufacturing started getting plunge.

By the end of the period, Both retail and healthcare crossed manufacturing in employment jobs. These both sectors had similar numbers that lingers around 16 million. And the bottomed out sector agriculture had around 2 million jobs approximately.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify several important features: manufacturing is highest in 1960, agriculture declines overall, and retail and healthcare finish at similar levels, above manufacturing. The figures of about 15 million initially and 16 million for both retail and healthcare at the end are consistent with the graph. However, the overview is not fully accurate: saying there was a “stable increase in the three sectors” overlooks manufacturing’s fall after 1980, and retail rises steadily rather than “skyrockets” from the start. The claim that healthcare crossed agriculture in the 1970s is not directly supported by the graph’s four data points. Include a clearer overview of the contrasting trends and describe the key changes at the marked years to make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable progression from an opening statement to general trends, initial comparisons and end-of-period figures. Paragraphing also helps separate the introduction from the main description. However, the organisation within the body is sometimes difficult to follow: “Onward from 1960” and “Beside all this” do not clearly signal how the next point relates to the previous one, while “these both sectors” has an unclear reference. The discussion also jumps from the 1960s to the 1970s and then 1980 without consistently comparing the four series. Grouping the information by overall trend or by start and end points, and using precise links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile,” would create smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “employment,” “gradual increase,” “crossed,” and “bottomed out,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. There are also attempts at more vivid language, such as “skyrocketed” and “plunge,” but these are either too strong for the changes shown or used in an awkward phrase. Several word-choice and spelling problems reduce precision, including “employment jobs,” “more jobs opportunties,” “genuinely,” and “aroud.” Prefer standard trend language and accurate collocations, for example “the number of jobs,” “employment opportunities,” and “declined.” This would make the description more natural and precise while retaining an adequate range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes a mix of simple and more complex forms, such as “While Healthcare sector was the smallest…,” and most of the main comparisons remain understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. Articles and plurals are missing or inconsistent in “Manufacturing sector had the most jobs” and “retail and agriculture had similar amount”; the latter also needs plural agreement (“amounts” or, more naturally, “numbers”). The sentence beginning “Onward from 1960” has an unclear construction, and “In 1980 manufacturing started getting plunge” does not form a correct verb pattern. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise accurate article use, subject–verb and noun-number agreement, and verb patterns, while keeping the useful variety of sentence forms.

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