Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph shows the variations in employment numbers across different economic sectors- manufucturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare- of the United states from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sector showed a upward trend that indicated increasing number of job opportunities in the both sectors. On the other hand, jobs in manufucturing and agriculture sectors showed deciling trend over the period. Notably, despite starting as the highest numbers of job producer, manufucturing sector was ultimately overtaken by retail and and healthcare sector.

Considering the growing sectors, both agriculture and retail sectors started with about 6 million jobs in 1960. Though the job oppotunities in agriculture sector was decreasing over the period, the numbers of jobs in retail sector steadily increased over the period. It touched 16 million jobs in 2020. Heathcare sector started from 2 million jobs in 1960. However, the numbers of job increased in the next decades. After 60 years, this sector produced 16 million jobs like the retail sector.

In the case of manufucturing sector, it started from 15 million jobs in 1960 and the numbers increased to 20 million jobs in 1980. However, In 2020, the number of jobs came down to 13 million jobs. Agriculture sector experienced a continuous downward trend. In 2020, this sector produced only 2 million jobs which was the lowest among the other sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response identifies the main overall pattern: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline, and it notes that manufacturing begins as the largest sector but is later overtaken. Most figures reported are accurate, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the 2020 totals for retail, healthcare and agriculture. This gives the report a clear overview and relevant supporting detail. To make the account more complete, clarify that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, and specify that healthcare rises particularly strongly after 1980. The overview’s claim that manufacturing and agriculture both show a “declining trend” is slightly broad, since manufacturing first rises before falling. The response covers the task well, though some comparisons and stages are less fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the rising sectors and then the declining sectors. This makes the information easy to follow overall, and phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In the case of” help signal contrasts. However, the grouping in the third paragraph is confusing: it begins with “the growing sectors” but then discusses agriculture, which declines. Some linking is also repetitive, particularly “over the period,” and “However” is used several times in close succession. The overview’s reference to manufacturing being overtaken is useful, but the later paragraphs could compare the sectors more directly. More precise grouping and less repetitive transitions would strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “variations,” “upward trend,” “overtaken,” and “continuous downward trend.” These choices communicate the main patterns, but several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “manufucturing” is repeatedly misspelled, “deciling” is incorrect, and “job producer” is an unnatural description of a sector. There are also awkward or repetitive phrases such as “number of jobs” and “job opportunities” where more concise chart language would be effective. The vocabulary is adequate for describing the graph, but control of spelling, collocation and precise trend language is inconsistent. Using standard forms such as “employment,” “rose,” and “fell” would make the report more fluent and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive clause beginning “Though” and a contrast introduced by “despite.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “a upward trend” needs the article “an,” while “the both sectors” has an incorrect determiner. Subject–verb agreement is also inconsistent in “the job opportunities … was decreasing” and “the numbers of job increased.” The sentence “After 60 years, this sector produced 16 million jobs like the retail sector” would be clearer with a comparison structure such as “reached the same level as retail.” Capitalisation after a full stop is inconsistent in “However, In 2020.” These errors rarely obscure meaning, but more reliable agreement, articles and sentence editing would improve accuracy.

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