Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrate that, the economy in united states of amarica in different field which is four since 1960 to 2020. so ty 2 millios in he picture of graph shown that year and jobs in million therefore easy to define that.

Firstly in healthcare field there is an gradully upward the numbers of jobs which had been started with 2 million in 1960 and subseqently increase in 1980 and reach by 5 millions after that get high some of 11 millions afterwards reached by 15 milllions in year of 2020 however agrriculture field had drastically decrease which is start with 6 millions and then approximately 2 millions in 1980 afterwards shows the neutral numericals of jobs.

moreover retail sectors shows the 6 millions in 1960 and upsurge by `10 millions in 1980 subseqently uprise by 15 millions in 2000 and there is no change since 2020. furthermore manufacturing field despite that 15 millions in 1960 then gradully rise by 20 millions in 1980 and conseqeuntly downwords the number in jobs in 2000 and 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the account is only partially successful because some key details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare is shown at about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and retail rises slightly from 15 to 16 million rather than showing “no change.” Agriculture falls from 6 million to 3 million by 1980, remains around 3 million in 2000, then declines to 2 million; your description does not clearly report this pattern. There is also no concise overview highlighting the main contrasts, such as manufacturing’s decline after 1980 and healthcare’s strong rise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph and then discusses healthcare and agriculture before retail and manufacturing. This gives the reader some organisation, and words such as “Firstly,” “moreover,” and “furthermore” signal movement between points. However, the opening is difficult to follow, and the body is presented as one long paragraph rather than clearly separated stages. Some linking expressions are used mechanically or do not clarify the relationship between ideas; for example, “however” joins the healthcare and agriculture trends without a clear comparison. Grouping the sectors by trend and using separate paragraphs for an overview and details would create clearer progression and make comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “upward,” “increase,” “drastically decrease,” and “upsurge,” and the reader can generally identify which sectors you mean. However, vocabulary control is limited by frequent spelling errors and unnatural or inaccurate word choices, such as “neutral numericals,” “get high some of,” and “downwords.” Several expressions are also repetitive or imprecise, which makes the report harder to understand. Use standard chart language consistently—for example, “rose to,” “fell to,” “remained stable,” and “reached”—and check spelling carefully. More accurate collocations would improve clarity without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect several ideas in longer sentences, but the structures are often faulty, and errors frequently make the meaning difficult to follow. The opening, “The graph illustrate that, the economy…,” has subject–verb agreement and sentence-structure problems. Other examples include “there is an gradually upward the numbers” and “which had been started with 2 million,” where the verb forms and clause construction are not controlled. Articles, plurals, and punctuation are also inconsistent. Aim first for accurate simple sentences such as “Healthcare employment rose from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.” Then combine related facts with correctly formed clauses and use full stops to prevent run-on sentences.

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