Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four economic sectors in the United States over the span of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare sectors showed a steady but significant rise in the job market over the period. While the job market in the manufacturing and agricultural sector experienced a downward trend.

In 1960, jobs in the field of manufacturing was the highest among other sectors (15 million), which rose dramatically to 20 million. However, in 1980, it dramatically declined to nearly 13 million. Likewise, the agricultural sector had around 6 million jobs at the beginning of the period. Then, it fell to nearly 3 million by 1980, and then remained steady until 2000. During [redacted phone], it decreased further to approximately 1 million jobs.

In the early 1960, the area of healthcare system had just about 1,00,000 jobs, the number increased sharply exceeding agricultural as well as manufacturing sector after 1970s and reaching just above 15 million jobs, becoming the largest job market. On the other hand, retailing shops had the same number as farming sector at the start of the period, after it experienced a steady growth, reaching above 15 million, similar to the number of jobs in the healthcare system.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad pattern: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines, and you include several relevant figures. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing rises from 15 million to 20 million by 1980, but the response says it then falls to nearly 13 million in 1980; that decline actually occurs by 2020, after reaching about 17 million in 2000. Healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 100,000, and it does not overtake manufacturing: by 2020 it is level with retail at around 16 million. The overview also calls the rises steady, although healthcare’s growth is especially sharp. More accurate comparisons and a clearer account of the manufacturing stages would make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The sequence from broad trends to sector figures is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “However,” “Likewise,” and “On the other hand” help signal comparisons. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall arrangement and shows some flexibility in connecting information. At times, though, the progression is weakened by unclear references and transitions. For example, “However, in 1980” conflicts with the preceding rise to 20 million, while “after 1970s” does not clearly connect to a specific point on the graph. Grouping the sectors more consistently and using precise time references would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose dramatically,” “downward trend,” “remained steady,” and “increased sharply.” These choices help communicate the main movements, and the meaning is generally understandable. However, some expressions are imprecise or unnatural for this chart: “job market” is used where “number of jobs” or “employment” would be clearer, and “retailing shops” and “area of healthcare system” do not describe the sectors naturally. “Steady” also does not fit the sharp rise in healthcare. Aim for accurate collocations and avoid repeating broad terms when a sector-specific description is available. This would improve precision while retaining the useful range already attempted.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “which,” and “after,” and most of the message remains clear. Some grammatical errors are present, however. In “jobs in the field of manufacturing was,” the plural subject requires “were”; “the manufacturing and agricultural sector” also needs plural agreement or a plural noun. The sentence beginning “While the job market…” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence. There are also awkward time constructions, such as “In the early 1960,” and the long healthcare sentence is difficult to control. Check subject–verb agreement, complete sentence structure, and punctuation, and divide long sentences where needed to improve accuracy.

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