Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the figures about the numbers of employemet in different four areas of the economic system between the year 1960 and 2020 in the United States which fileds are manufacturing ,retail,agriculture and healthcare.

Looking first at the manufacturing which starts with the highest number of 15 millions jobs in 1960 and facing its peak about 20 millions in 1980 and then gradually decreases even surapssing the retail and healthcare from 2000 to 2020. Secondly, if wee look at the figures of healthcare which starts from the lowest of around 2 million jobs has the highest increase upto almost 16 millions which is the highest in 2020 along with retails .

Now, to initiate with retail and heakthcare starting off with same numbers of around 6 millions in 1960 whereas the agriculture continuosly decreases crossing down healthcare in 1980 upto its lowest at roughly 2 millions in 2020 while on other side, retail has a significant increase making it at a highest number of approximtely 16 million in 2020.

We can clearly see that the healthcare ad retail industries is contiuosly facing its peak and growng while manufacturing stilll has a gradual downfall with almost the end of agriculture industries .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and report several key movements: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, healthcare rises from the lowest starting point, retail grows, and agriculture falls. The figures you give are broadly consistent with the chart. However, the overview is not sufficiently clear or precise: the claim that healthcare and retail are “continuously facing its peak” does not accurately summarise their different trajectories, and manufacturing does not surpass retail and healthcare from 2000 to 2020. In 2020, manufacturing is below both, but it is not clear that it is below them throughout that period. Develop a concise overview that highlights the main contrasts, including the shared top position of retail and healthcare in 2020 and agriculture’s steady decline.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has some organisation, moving through manufacturing, healthcare, and then retail and agriculture, and phrases such as “Looking first” and “Now” signal transitions. However, the progression is not consistently clear: healthcare is discussed in two separate places, and the final sentence repeats broad trends rather than drawing the report together. Some linking language is awkward or confusing, particularly “while on other side,” and the opening sentence is overloaded with introductory information. Group related trends into clear paragraphs—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and use transitions to show comparisons rather than simply announce the next topic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “peak,” “decreases,” “significant increase,” and “lowest,” which helps communicate the main trends. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts difficult to read. Examples include “figures about the numbers of employemet,” “economic system,” “facing its peak,” and “end of agriculture industries.” There are also frequent spelling errors such as “surapssing,” “heakthcare,” and “approximtely.” Use standard terms such as “number of jobs” and “employment,” and choose precise trend language such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” or “remained stable.” Proofreading spelling and collocations would make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “which starts from the lowest of around 2 million jobs has the highest increase,” but these structures are often faulty or difficult to follow. There are recurring problems with agreement, tense, articles, and sentence construction: “the healthcare ad retail industries is” has a plural subject with a singular verb, while “which starts” shifts into the present when describing past data. Several sentences also lack clear grammatical connections between clauses, especially the sentence beginning “Looking first at the manufacturing.” Aim for controlled past-tense reporting, check subject–verb agreement, and separate complex ideas into complete sentences. These recurring errors sometimes make relationships between trends unclear.

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