Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the changes in employment figure across four economic sectors in the United States : manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture from 1960 to 2020 , measured in millions of jobs .

Overall, retail and healthcare exprienced consistent upward trajectories. thoughout the 60 year period ,healthcare has the dramatic rise. conversely, manufacturing saw initial groth ,before exprincing a steady decline, while agriculture remained the smallest employer with a slight downward drift .

In 1960, Manufacturing was by far the largest provider of jobs at 15 million , peaking at 20 million at 1980 . However,this sector susequently contracted, dropping to 17 million in 2020 andeventually falling to around 13 million by 2020 .In contrast, retail started at around 6 million at 1960 and climbed steadily over the decades overtaking manufacturing around 2015 to reach 16 million by the end of the timeframe .healthcare began as the smallest sector 1960 alongside agriculture, offering only 2 million jobs .healthcare exprinced substantial expansion matching manufacturing at approximately 14 million jobs in 2015 and rise 16 million in2015 .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing eventually declines, and agriculture is the smallest sector. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing falls to 17 million in 2000 and about 13 million in 2020, not 17 million in 2020; healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 2015; and the claim that healthcare matched manufacturing at 14 million in 2015 is not supported by the chart. The overview also says healthcare rose throughout, but does not clearly compare the final leaders. Select accurate milestones and make the overall comparison more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details, and contrast markers such as “Overall” and “In contrast” help signal relationships. The main trends are generally grouped sensibly. However, the final paragraph becomes crowded, combining manufacturing, retail and healthcare in a long sequence, so comparisons are harder to follow. Some transitions are also awkward or unclear, particularly “However, this sector subsequently contracted” followed by conflicting dates and figures. Separate the sector descriptions into clearer sentences or group the two rising sectors together, and use time references consistently so the progression is easy to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-appropriate vocabulary, including “upward trajectories,” “contracted,” “overtaking,” and “substantial expansion.” These choices help describe change rather than simply listing figures. However, several spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural expressions reduce control: “exprienced,” “groth,” and “exprincing” are misspelled, while “employment figure” and “dramatic rise” are less natural or precise in this context. “Steady decline” also overstates the pattern, since manufacturing first rises and then falls. Proofread carefully and choose standard chart language such as “number of jobs,” “increased sharply,” and “declined.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including a contrast clause (“while agriculture remained…”) and a participial phrase (“dropping to 17 million”). The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems make parts difficult to interpret. For example, “healthcare has the dramatic rise” has an incorrect article and tense, and “healthcare … offering only 2 million jobs” lacks a clear grammatical link to the preceding clause. Several sentences run together, with missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent capitalisation, while “rise 16 million” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase. Use complete sentences, maintain past tense for the historical data, and check articles, verb forms and sentence boundaries.

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