Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The Graph shows us the difference between Jobs in Four sectors of US over the period of 1960 to 2020.
Overall The numbers of jobs in Four sectors of the Economy of US in 1920 to 2020 were Manufacturing gradully decreses as compared to Reatil sector. Healthcare increses from 1960 to 2020. On the other hand Agriculture decreses from 1960 to 2020
Over the period of 1960 to 1980, Firstly Manufacturing sector rose from 15 million to 20 million then in 2000 to 2020 it goes less than 15. Furtheremore Retail sector slightly Increases from 5 million to 10 then in 2000 to 2020 it gradully increases to15 million.
On the other hand Agriculture Sector provides more than 5 million jobs.In 1960 then it slightly goes to less then 5 million emplyments in 1980 to 2020.Healthcare countinsly increases from 5 million to more then 15 millions from 1960 to 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify the four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and healthcare rising over time. However, the overview contains a major date error: it says “1920 to 2020” rather than 1960 to 2020, and “gradually decreases” does not capture manufacturing’s initial rise before its decline. Some figures are inaccurate or unclear: retail is about 6 million, not 5 million, in 1960, and agriculture falls to around 2 million by 2020 rather than remaining below 5 throughout. Healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 5. The response is also 8 words below the 150-word minimum. Include a more accurate overview and select key comparisons with correctly reported figures.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing changes. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “On the other hand” show an attempt to connect contrasting trends. However, progression is not always clear. The overview repeats information that is then revisited, while the final paragraph combines agriculture and healthcare without a clear comparison. Some time references, such as “then in 2000 to 2020,” make it difficult to follow exactly when a change occurs. Use a clearer sequence—overview first, then group related sectors—and connect each figure directly to its year. More precise linking and referencing would make the account easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “sector,” “rose,” “increases,” and “jobs,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the writing less clear, including “gradully,” “decreses,” “Reatil,” “emplyments,” and “countinsly.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “goes less than 15” and “provides more than 5 million jobs.” Choose accurate trend verbs and standard collocations, for example, “fell to” and “employed.” Take care to distinguish a sector’s job total from the number of jobs it “provides.” Proofreading spelling and using a wider range of precise terms would improve clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt to describe changes across time and use some longer sentence patterns, including “Firstly Manufacturing sector rose … then …” and “On the other hand Agriculture Sector…”. However, the range is limited, and attempts to combine several time periods often produce faulty or incomplete structures. For example, “then in 2000 to 2020 it goes less than 15” lacks a clear verb pattern, while “Healthcare countinsly increases from 5 million to more then 15 millions from 1960 to 2020” has problems with tense, number, and sentence construction. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly after introductory phrases. Practise writing one complete sentence for each sector, with a clear subject, past-tense verb, and year or period.
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