Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph below illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the graph shows the highest number of jobs in manufacturing that is approximatly 20 millions in 1980 and the line shows healthcare and retail jobs gradually rise over the period while agriculture graph decline over the whole period.
During 1960 the number of manufacturing jobs are 15 millions and then fluctuate. it reached its peak 20 millions on 1980 and then decline and reached about 17 millions in 2020. On the other hand, the number of agriculture jobs are 6 million in 1960 and reached about 2 millions in 2020.
In the start of the period the healthcare and retail jobs are approximately 2 millions and 6 millions and then rise over the period reached at 16 millions at its peak on 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing reaches its high point around 1980, agriculture declines, and healthcare and retail rise. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing does not remain the highest in 2020, when healthcare and retail are both about 16 million compared with manufacturing at about 13 million. The body also gives manufacturing as about 17 million in 2020, although that figure is for 2000, and it does not clearly distinguish the different growth patterns of healthcare and retail. The response is 132 words, below the required 150, which limits the detail provided. Add accurate endpoint comparisons and describe the key changes at each stage.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. Basic linking phrases such as “Overall” and “On the other hand” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, the progression is limited: the final paragraph combines healthcare and retail without clearly comparing their separate trajectories, and some information is repeated rather than developed. The manufacturing detail also moves from its peak to an incorrect 2020 figure, making the sequence harder to follow. Improve cohesion by grouping the two declining or rising patterns clearly, and use precise time references to guide the reader from 1960 through 1980 and 2000 to 2020.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant task vocabulary, including “peak,” “decline,” “rise” and “period,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “the agriculture graph decline” and “reached at 16 millions.” “Fluctuate” is also not a precise description of manufacturing, which rises to 1980 and then falls. Spelling errors such as “approximatly” and repeated use of “number of jobs” reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise trend language and correct collocations; for example, describe a figure as “stood at” a value or a line as “fell to” a value. This would make comparisons clearer and more natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and joined sentences, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors occur frequently in verb agreement, tense, articles and sentence construction. For example, “the number of manufacturing jobs are” should use a singular verb, while “it reached its peak 20 millions on 1980” needs clearer grammatical framing and a correct preposition. The sentence beginning “Overall” also has an awkward structure, and punctuation is inconsistent, including the extra space and full stop before “it reached.” Practise accurate past-tense descriptions and sentence patterns such as “The figure rose from X to Y before falling to Z.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.
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