Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare over a 20-year period from 1960 to 2020.

overall, the number of jobs in agriculture department decreased over the period. Notably, the healthcare and retail sectors increased consistently at the end of the period. Manufacturing sector initially increased but gradually fell down.

In 1960, agriculture initially produced around 6 millions jobs ,falling to about 3 millions in 1980, 3millions in 2000 and 1 millions in 2020. The manufacturing department initially produced higest number of jobs around 15millions in 1960, rising to 20 millions in 1980 but decreased steadily about 16 millions in 2000 and about 12 millions in 2020.

In contrast, the healthcare and retail sectors experienced a substantial increase over a 20-year period from 1960 to 2020. At the end , manufacturing sector had highest number of jobs from 1960 to 2000 as compared to other sectors

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: agriculture declines, manufacturing rises and then falls, and healthcare and retail grow. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall to around 3 million by 1980. However, the overview is incomplete and one comparison is inaccurate: manufacturing did not have the highest employment through 2000, since retail reached about 15 million by then, compared with manufacturing at about 17 million, and healthcare and retail are both around 16 million in 2020. The final paragraph says these sectors increased but gives no figures or distinct trends for them. Include a fuller overview and compare the leading sectors at the beginning and end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details, and phrases such as “In contrast” help signal a comparison. However, progression is uneven: the final paragraph introduces healthcare and retail but does not explain their changes, then ends with a comparison about manufacturing that partly repeats earlier information. The overview also combines several trends without clearly distinguishing the sectors. Some linking is mechanical or imprecise, and the final sentence’s time reference (“from 1960 to 2000”) does not fit the claim about the end of the period. Organise the body around clear comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture first, then retail and healthcare—and use each paragraph to develop its stated focus.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “decreased,” “rising,” “steadily,” “in contrast” and “substantial increase,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts to vary descriptions rather than relying only on “went up” or “went down.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, however: “agriculture department” and “manufacturing department” suggest organisational units rather than economic sectors, while “produced jobs” is not the natural collocation for employment figures. “Fell down” is less suitable for formal data description, and “consistently” is not fully supported because the chart only gives four points. Prefer precise terms such as “sector,” “employed,” “declined” and “rose overall,” and check spelling such as “highest.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, including the contrast in “Manufacturing sector initially increased but gradually fell down” and the participle construction “falling to about 3 millions.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, plurals and punctuation reduce accuracy. For example, “the number of jobs in agriculture department decreased” needs an article and a more natural grammatical construction; “6 millions jobs” has an incorrect plural form; and “At the end , manufacturing sector” has spacing and article problems. Capitalise “Overall,” and use consistent sentence punctuation. Practise accurate comparative sentences with singular “million” after numbers, such as “about 6 million jobs,” while retaining a mix of sentence structures.

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