Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this graph, we discuss about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1965 and 2020. We check all information and compare with each other.

In 1960, jobs of healthcare was round about 2 millions and after 20 year later jobs reached in 5 millions and then jobs countinusly increase and in 2020 jobs of healthcare reached its peak and across 15 million. And in the same year 1960 jobs of agriculture and retailers had same more than 5 millions but unfortunatally after 20 years later jobs of retailers are increase and jobs of agriculture are decrease. In 1980, agriculture reached in 2.5 millions and jobs of retailers in 10 millions and the end of 2020 jobs of retailer touched more than 15 millions and agriculture reached its least point round about 2 millions jobs. And another jobs of manufacturing in 1960 15 millions and in this time number of people work in this field and until the 1980 jobs of manufacturing countinusuly increasing and approched in 20 millions jobs but unfortunatlly about 1980 jobs of manufacturing decreasing and become 12 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant trends, including healthcare’s rise from about 2 million jobs to around 16 million and manufacturing’s peak at about 20 million in 1980. However, the account is only partially effective because some key comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. For example, healthcare is said to reach “across 15 million,” while the chart shows about 16 million in 2020; manufacturing is described as falling to 12 million, rather than approximately 13 million. The opening also gives the period as starting in 1965, although the graph begins in 1960. There is no concise overview that clearly summarises the main pattern: manufacturing peaks then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. State that overview before selecting supporting figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a broadly chronological order and uses time markers such as “In 1960,” “after 20 years,” and “in 2020,” which helps readers follow some changes. However, the information is packed into one long paragraph, and the progression between sectors is difficult to track. The opening sentences (“we discuss” and “we check all information”) do not provide a useful overview, while repeated links such as “and” and “and then” make relationships between points mechanical. Some references are also unclear, as in “in this time” and “another jobs of manufacturing.” Organise the report into a brief introduction, an overview, and two comparison-focused detail paragraphs, grouping related sectors rather than moving through them in one extended sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “jobs,” “sectors,” “reached,” “increasing,” and “decreasing,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning awkward: “jobs of healthcare,” “jobs countinusly increase,” and “touched more than 15 millions.” Spelling errors such as “unfortunatally,” “countinusuly,” and “approched” also reduce control. Aim for precise, neutral reporting language and avoid conversational or evaluative wording such as “unfortunately,” since the graph describes changes without judging them. Practise standard phrases such as “the number of jobs in healthcare” and “rose to approximately” to make comparisons clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect several ideas in longer sentences, but these structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the account difficult to read. Examples include “jobs of healthcare was,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “after 20 year later,” which combines time expressions incorrectly. Phrases such as “agriculture reached in 2.5 millions” and “jobs of retailers are increase” show problems with verb forms, prepositions, and plural forms. Sentence boundaries are also weak: the long sentence beginning “And in the same year 1960” contains several separate comparisons without clear punctuation. Use shorter, complete sentences, check subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms, and build longer sentences only when the relationships between clauses are clear.

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