Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph demostrates the information about number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the United State.Overall, the jobs in healthcare and retailing have increased. However, the jobs in manufacturing and agriculture decreased.

From [redacted phone] the occupations in manfacturing sector increased from 15 million to 20 million respectively. Although, after 1980 the career in manufacturing starts declining and eventually it reached down to 13 million jobs in 2020. Healthcare has lowest occupations in 1980 which were no more than 2.5 million. But it started increasing in the same trend and reached to 16 million jobs in 2020 which were same as in retailing.

In 1980, the agriculture and retailing has same number of careers. Although they behaved conversely with the pessage of time. The agricultural occupations start declining by reaching to almost 2.5 million jobs in 2020 which almost same as healthcare in 1980. On the other hand, the retailing rose as the time passed and reached upto 16 million jobs in 2020. It increased mostly during the time period of [redacted phone].

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the broad contrast accurately: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture falls, and manufacturing peaks before declining. The report also includes several useful figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and healthcare and retail both ending at 16 million. This meets the task well, with some features more fully reported than others. However, the overview says manufacturing and agriculture “decreased” without noting manufacturing’s initial rise, and the claim that agriculture and retail had the same number in 1980 is inaccurate: retail was about 10 million, compared with agriculture at 3 million. Clarify these comparisons and describe the main turning points more precisely to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs describing the trends. Time markers such as “From 1960-1980,” “after 1980,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the account. However, some links are mechanical or confusing. “Although” begins sentences where no contrasting clause follows, and “they behaved conversely” does not clearly identify which trends are being compared. The paragraphing also separates manufacturing and healthcare from agriculture and retail, but the comparisons within each paragraph could be more consistently organised. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining or fluctuating sectors together, while using clear references, would strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “increased,” “declining,” “reached,” and “rose,” so the main information is generally understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “occupations” and “careers” are used to mean job numbers, and “reached down to” is not an appropriate collocation. There are also spelling errors in “demostrates,” “manfacturing,” and “pessage,” alongside awkward phrases such as “in the same trend.” These slips make the language less precise and limit flexibility. Prefer standard chart language such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” “fell to,” and “followed a similar upward trend,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “On the other hand,” and most of the intended meaning can be understood. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “the agriculture and retailing has same number” has an agreement problem and is missing an article, while “which were same as in retailing” also needs an article and clearer sentence construction. “From 1960-1980 … increased … respectively” uses “respectively” incorrectly, and punctuation is inconsistent, including the missing space after “United State.” Work on subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete clause structures; then proofread punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentences easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.