Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the retails and healthcare both sectors had highest millions,Wheareas agriculture had lowest millions by 2020, and manufacturing were increases but then gradually drop down to 13%.

In 1960 the manufacturing jobs were 15 miilions and the both retails and agriculture remain constant and had 6 millions jobs by 1960 then healthcare had only 3 miilions jobs in 1960. In contrast, the manufacturing increases to 20 millions jobs in year 1980, Susbsequently the retail also rose to 10% and agriculture fell down to 3.5 miilions by 1980 then healthcare sector increased to 5 millions jobs by 1980.

Meanwhile, in 2000 manufacturing sector decreases from 20 million to 16 millions, while retail stood at 15 millions jobs in 2000 and agriculture remain same as 1980. Healthcare were inclined to 11 millions jobs by 2000.In compare to those years the manufacturing were drop down to 14 millions the retail and heathcare were increases 16 millions jobs by 2020, An agriculture had lowest 2 millions jobs by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover all four sectors and identify several important movements, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 before declining, retail rising, and agriculture ending at the lowest level. The overview also notes the strong position of retail and healthcare by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million; manufacturing ended at about 13 million, rather than 14 million; and retail and healthcare were both around 16 million in 2020, so neither alone had the highest figure. The overview’s claim that manufacturing “were increases” is also difficult to interpret. To strengthen the report, give a clearer summary of the main contrasts and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs that move through the years. Time markers such as “In 1960,” “in 2000,” and “by 2020” help readers follow the data. However, progression is weakened by long, crowded sentences that combine several sectors and changes without clear boundaries. For example, the sentence beginning “In contrast, the manufacturing increases…” moves through all four sectors, while the final sentence contains several comparisons joined by commas. Some linking phrases, including “In compare to those years,” are inaccurate or unclear. Organise the details into more controlled comparisons, and use full stops and linking expressions to show how each trend relates to the others.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “jobs,” “increased,” “decreases,” and “remained,” so the reader can generally understand the subject and direction of change. However, the range and control are limited, with repeated use of basic verbs and several inaccurate collocations or word forms. Phrases such as “retails,” “highest millions,” “fell down,” and “were inclined” do not express the intended data naturally; “16%” is also unsuitable when the figures are numbers of jobs in millions. Spelling errors such as “miilions” and “Susbsequently” further reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range of trend language and check spelling and whether each term fits the chart’s units.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences using contrast and time clauses, and the overall meaning is often recoverable. However, sentence structures are frequently faulty, and errors in agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to follow. Examples include “manufacturing were increases,” “healthcare were inclined,” and “agriculture remain same”; these need correctly formed verbs and, where required, articles. The opening overview also lacks clear sentence structure, while several later sentences run together after commas. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and subject–verb agreement, and separate comparisons into complete sentences. More reliable control of simple structures will make your attempts at complex sentences clearer.

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