Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph shows information about how much the number of job was earned by four sectors in us, over decade between 1960 and 2020. Firstly, the manufacturing in the 1960 and the numbae of job is over the 3 percent of the diagram. the retail in 1980 the huge increase in the diagram and the sectors is influence in the diagram and the lines are curve in this diagram. The other information is agriculture in 2000 the agricultural production is high increase in the economy the agriculture is the fertilizer is the field the hectre is increase the growth. and the last is healthcare is essential for the life in 2020 for the sectors of economy and the healthcare is main part of the life in this era.

In conclusion, the graph data about the number of jobs in us from 1960 and 2020 and the jobs in million in this economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the general subject and time span, but it does not adequately summarise the graph’s main features. It gives no clear overview of the contrasting trends: manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 and then declines, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. The few references to particular years are either vague or inaccurate; for example, manufacturing is described as “over the 3 percent,” while agriculture is said to have a “high increase” in 2000, although it is around 3 million and broadly stable from 1980 to 2000. Much of the discussion about fertilizer, fields and healthcare’s importance is not supported by the chart. Focus on jobs in millions, report the main trends, and compare the sectors using accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response with “Firstly,” “The other information,” and “In conclusion,” and the writing is divided into paragraphs. However, the ideas do not progress in a clear, logical account of the data. The first body section jumps from manufacturing to retail without explaining their trends, while the next moves from agriculture to unrelated comments about farming and healthcare. The conclusion merely repeats the topic rather than drawing together the main comparisons. Use one paragraph for the overall trends and group related sectors in the body, with clear links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile.” This would make the relationships between the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” and “economy,” so the subject is recognisable. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, and several phrases do not describe the graph clearly: “how much the number of job was earned,” “the huge increase in the diagram,” and “the agriculture is the fertilizer is the field.” There are also spelling and form problems, such as “numbae” and “hectre.” Choose precise terms for the data, such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable,” and avoid adding vocabulary about production or farming that the chart does not show.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts several sentence forms and uses time references such as “in 1960,” “in 2000,” and “in 2020.” However, sentence structure and grammatical control are inconsistent, making several statements difficult to interpret. For example, “the manufacturing in the 1960 and the numbae of job is over the 3 percent” lacks a clear subject–verb structure, and “the retail in 1980 the huge increase” is missing a complete clause. There are problems with articles, plurals, agreement and tense, as in “the number of job was earned.” Build clear sentences with a subject and verb, for example, “Manufacturing employment rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980.” Then check agreement and use consistent past-tense forms.

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