Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.The graph basically illustrates the number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare.The horizontal line of the graph represents the year and the vertical represents the jobs in millions.
From the graph we can see that in 1960, most of the people are employed in Manufacturing, about 15 millions whereas Retail and Agriculture both are about 6 millions and Healthcare is about 2 millions.Similarly in 1980, Manufacturing have topped the list again as it shows about 20 millions are employed in Manufacturing.It is 5 million higher than in 1960.Infact it is the highest in the entire graph.And Retail has 10 millions, Healthcare is 5 millions, and Agriculture is about 4 millions.In 2000, Manufacturing has about 12 millions, Retail has 15 millions, Healthcare has 11 millions, and Agriculture has about 4 millions.And at last in 2020, Retail and Healthcare has both come to the top with about 16 millions, Manufacturing about 14 millions, Agriculture about 2 millions.
Looking at the graph it shows that Manufacturing has affected the US economy the most whereas Agriculture has affected the US economy the least.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify all four sectors and report several key figures, including manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million in 1980 and the joint high for retail and healthcare in 2020. However, some figures do not match the graph: manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000, not 12; agriculture is about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, not 4. The overview that manufacturing affected the economy most and agriculture least is also imprecise: the chart shows job numbers, not economic impact, and manufacturing declines while retail and healthcare rise. To make the summary more complete, state these contrasting long-term trends clearly and ensure the comparisons are based on the plotted data.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a chronological account of the four years, and a concluding statement. This makes the information reasonably easy to follow. The repeated sequence “in 1960,” “in 1980,” “in 2000,” and “at last in 2020” provides basic progression, but the report reads more like a list of figures than a comparison of trends. “Similarly” does not clearly express the relationship between the years, and the final sentence does not effectively summarise the main changes. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with manufacturing and agriculture would create stronger links between details. Check spacing after full stops as well, since several sentences run together.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant topic vocabulary such as “Manufacturing,” “Retail,” “Agriculture,” and “Healthcare,” and the reader can generally understand the data being described. However, the range of reporting language is limited, with repeated use of “about,” “shows,” and “millions are employed.” Some choices are imprecise for a graph: “affected the US economy” suggests economic impact, whereas the chart only reports job numbers. There are also awkward collocations and forms, such as “topped the list” and “come to the top.” Use more precise terms for movement and comparison, such as “rose,” “declined,” “stood at,” and “recorded the joint-highest figure,” while varying the language used to report values.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the chronological structure helps convey the main information. However, errors in agreement, tense, plurals, and sentence boundaries are noticeable. For example, “Manufacturing have topped” should be “Manufacturing had/has topped,” while “Retail and Healthcare has” requires “have.” “15 millions” should be “15 million,” and “the horizontal line … represents the year and the vertical represents the jobs” needs a clearer parallel structure. Several sentences are joined without a space after the full stop, and the tense shifts between “are employed,” “has,” and past-time descriptions. Use consistent past tense for the historical data and check subject–verb agreement and punctuation when editing.
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