Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The bargraph notify us about the number of occupations in four different catagories of the economical system of USA since 1960 to 2020.
Overall, In 1960 the number of healthcare jobs were steady. Nevertheless,in 2020 it surges into 16 million vacancies.Additionally, The agricultural group in 1960 were more oppurtunities than 5 million. Nontheless, In 2020 it dip into 2 and half million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response identifies two relevant sectors and gives a broad contrast between healthcare growth and agricultural decline, including the endpoint figures of 16 million and about 2.5 million. However, it omits manufacturing and retail, which are central to the graph, and provides no meaningful comparison across all four sectors or a clear overview of the main patterns. The statement that healthcare was “steady” in 1960 is not supported by a single-year figure, and the agricultural figure for 1960 is only loosely reported. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, leaving the task only minimally addressed. To improve, describe the main trends for every sector and compare their relative levels at key dates.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview-like paragraph, and linking words such as “Nevertheless” and “Additionally” signal relationships between points. However, the ideas do not develop in a clear sequence, and the paragraph moves abruptly from healthcare to agriculture without comparing the sectors or covering the full graph. Some connectors are awkwardly placed or used in ways that do not clearly express the relationship between ideas. A more effective structure would use a brief introduction, a concise overview of the main trends, and a body paragraph grouping rising sectors separately from declining ones. This would create clearer progression and make comparisons easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “healthcare jobs,” “agricultural group,” “vacancies,” and “dip,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Bargraph” is incorrect because the visual is a line graph, while “occupations” and “economical system” do not precisely describe the number of jobs by sector. Spelling errors such as “catagories” and “oppurtunities” are noticeable, and “surges into” is an awkward collocation for a figure reaching a level. Use precise terms such as “employment,” “sector,” “rose to,” and “fell to,” and check spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response communicates its basic points through short sentences and attempts a contrast with “Nevertheless.” However, the sentence structures are mostly simple, and errors in agreement and sentence construction occur repeatedly. For example, “the number of healthcare jobs were steady” has a singular subject with a plural verb, while “the agricultural group in 1960 were more opportunities” does not form a grammatically complete comparison. Capitalisation after commas is also inconsistent, as in “Nevertheless,in 2020” and “Additionally, The.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build clear comparative sentences, such as “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.”
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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