Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrate the information about the opportunties of jobs in four economical sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail are the two sector offering majoritiy of jobs in american economy.There is a sharp increase in the number of jobs in health care and retail market. While argicultural and manufacturing sectors seen to have a minimal decrease in the number of jobs between the years.

There is a dramatic increase in the healthcare sectors from 2-3 millions jobs in the year 1960 to massive number of 15 millions in the year 2020. Followed by the retail market in which there is major increase in the number from 5-6 million in the year 1960 to 15 million by the year 2020.

From the table it can be seen that the opportunities in the agriculture sector has been deceased gradually from 6 millions in 1960 to around 2-3 millions by the year 2020.While in the manufacturing sector there is also a considerable decline in the number of jobs which was 15 millions back 1960 and 13-14 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad pattern accurately: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture and manufacturing decline overall. The overview also highlights the main contrast between expanding and contracting sectors, and most reported figures are close to the chart. However, some key details are incomplete or imprecise. Healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and retail rises to about 16 million; the response gives 15 million for both. Manufacturing does not decline throughout: it first climbs from 15 million to a peak of 20 million in 1980, then falls. Mentioning this turning point and comparing the final levels of healthcare and retail would make the account more fully developed and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the rising and falling sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “While,” and “Followed by” help connect ideas, although some connections feel mechanical or are not attached to complete sentences. For example, “Followed by the retail market…” is a fragment, and the final paragraph shifts from agriculture to manufacturing without a clear comparison between them. Improve progression by grouping related trends consistently and using complete sentences with explicit comparisons, such as contrasting the two sectors that finish at around 16 million.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “sharp increase,” “gradually,” “considerable decline,” and “number of jobs.” These choices communicate the general trends, but some wording is inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision. “Opportunities of jobs” is not the usual expression for the figures shown, and “majority of jobs” suggests a share of all employment rather than the highest numbers among the four sectors. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “opportunties,” “argicultural,” and “deceased” where “decreased” is intended. Choose standard chart language and check spelling and collocations to make the description more fluent and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including a contrast with “While” and a relative clause in “which was 15 millions.” The overall meaning remains understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, sentence structure, and punctuation reduce accuracy. For instance, “the graph illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “healthcare and retail are the two sector” needs a plural noun and an article or determiner adjustment. “Followed by the retail market…” is not a complete sentence, and there is no space after the full stop before “While” in the final paragraph. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, and review singular/plural agreement and punctuation.

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