Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs across four sectors in US in between [redacted phone]. Units measured in millions.

Overall, some sectors can bs seen inclining trend, however some can be seen declining.

Retail and healthcare sector can be seen increasing trend. The increase in retail is linear from 1960 till 2000, jobs roses from around 6 million to 15 million between the years, the growth slop decrease in the next twenty year, however, jobs still increased to around 16 million. Similarly, the jobs in healthcare sector has increased signifcantly from almost 2 million to around 16 million in between 1960 to 2000.

Number of jobs in manufacturing sector was inclining in between 1960 till 1980, it rose from 15 million to 20 million, but since 1980, its been declining, from 1980 til 2020 the jobs reduced from 20 million to around 13 million.Jobs in agriculture sector has been declining, jobs reduced from around 6 milllion to 3 milllion in 1980, between 1980 and 2000 the numbers remains almost constant, however between 2000 to 2020 the trend declined from around 3 million to 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and identify the main contrasts: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The overview gives a useful broad summary, while the body supports it with relevant figures, such as manufacturing increasing from 15 to 20 million and then dropping to about 13 million. However, some details are incomplete or inaccurate: healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 2000, and the overview could state more clearly that retail and healthcare finish as the joint highest sectors. The description of retail’s growth is also somewhat general. More precise coverage of the final healthcare figure and a sharper comparison of the sectors at the end would make the report more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a brief overview, and body paragraphs grouping the rising sectors separately from the declining ones. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Similarly,” “but,” and “however” help show relationships between points. Some cohesion is less controlled, though. The overview’s “some sectors” is vague, and the long final paragraph moves from manufacturing to agriculture without a clear transition. Repeated time phrases such as “between 1960 till” and “from 1980 til 2020” also make the progression feel mechanical. Use more precise references to the sectors and divide or connect the final comparisons more deliberately to strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “declining,” “rose,” and “remains almost constant,” so the main information is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “growth slope” and “linear,” but these are not natural or precise in this context. Several spelling and word-form errors—“inclining,” “roses,” “signifcantly,” and “milllion”—are noticeable, and phrases such as “jobs in US” and “the numbers remains” show limited control of natural expression. Aim for accurate, conventional collocations for graph descriptions, such as “the number of jobs rose steadily” or “employment fell.” This would make your vocabulary more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “however” and “but,” and the overall meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. For example, “in US in between 1960-2020” has problems with articles and prepositions, while “the jobs in healthcare sector has increased” has subject–verb agreement and article errors. “The numbers remains almost constant” also has an agreement error, and punctuation is missing after “13 million” before the next sentence begins. Several sentences rely on similar patterns, so the range is not consistently controlled. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and agreement, and use a wider mix of sentence structures while checking sentence boundaries and punctuation.

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