Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The Line graph illustrates about four job sectors from 1960 to 2020. The four main job sectors are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

Overall, two main sectors who has shown an upward trend are retail and healthcare while other two sectors are showing a trend of downfall i.e manufacturing and agriculture.

In manufacturing department initially job sector increased in twenty years with 5 million jobs in total but then decreased drastically till 2020 while agriculture shows continuous decline but not dramatially.

On the other hand, Retail and Healthcare have shown incredible increase in jobs sectors. From 1960 to 2020 they have increased approximately a million in total.

The main up trend has showed by Healthcare where from nearly 2 million jobs has increased to 16 millions job in last 60 years that is really a incredibe change.

This shows over the year job sectors that excel are Healthcare and Retail and job sectors who showed less interest of people and less contribution in economy are Manufacturing and Agriculture.

Manufacturing was already on top then in few years it showed an up trend but in next 40 years it went continuously declined.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and give a relevant overview: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline. You also report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million in 1980 and healthcare’s growth from about 2 to 16 million. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. Retail and healthcare did not increase by “approximately a million” overall; both rose by around 10–14 million, and retail increased from 6 to 16 million. The claim that manufacturing “continuously declined” over the final 40 years is broadly right, but the account would be clearer with its 2000 and 2020 values. The final comment about people’s interest and economic contribution is not shown by the graph. Focus on precise comparisons and avoid unsupported explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sector trends. Linking phrases such as “Overall” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is weakened by repetition: the decline in manufacturing is described in both the third and final paragraphs, while the final sentence adds little new information. Some connections are also unclear, particularly “From 1960 to 2020 they have increased approximately a million in total,” which does not make clear which figures or sectors are being compared. Group the two rising sectors together and the two declining sectors together, and use each paragraph to add distinct, logically ordered comparisons. This would make the organisation more coherent and reduce reliance on repeated statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “continuous decline,” and “increased,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There is also some attempt to vary wording, for example “drastically” and “incredible increase.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “job sectors who has shown,” “increased approximately a million,” and “showed less interest of people” do not express the intended meaning precisely. Spelling errors such as “dramatially” and “incredibe” also reduce control. Prefer neutral, data-focused language rather than claims about people’s interest or sectors’ contribution, which the graph does not establish. More precise verbs and collocations for rises, falls, and comparisons would improve clarity and range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses with “while” and “but,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “two main sectors who has shown,” the relative pronoun and verb do not agree with “sectors”; “the other two sectors are showing a trend” also shifts tense unnecessarily in a description of the whole period. The sentence beginning “The main up trend has showed by Healthcare” has an incorrect passive construction, and “where from nearly 2 million jobs has increased” lacks a clear grammatical subject. Plural and article forms are also inconsistent in “16 millions job.” Use past simple consistently for completed data and check subject–verb agreement, sentence subjects, and singular/plural forms.

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