Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph provides information about number of jobs in four different categories of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,manufacturing was the most popular sector in providng jobs with the highest number of jobs during a period.Whereas, agriculture sector provided only smaller proportions of jobs.

First of all, 15 million jobs were offered in 1960 in manufacturing sector making it on the top than other sectors and showed a growth with 20 million in 1980.In 2000 and 2020 manufacturing type represented a decline with figures of 17 and 13 million.In contrast both retail and healthcare sector presented a sharp rise with 6 million in 1960.Whereas, in 2000 15 million in retail sector and 11 million in healthcare sector. but showed same number of jobs in 2020.

While remaining sector was agriculture with the lowest proportions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the main contrast between manufacturing and agriculture, and report several manufacturing figures accurately: 15 million in 1960, a peak of 20 million in 1980, then 17 and 13 million. However, the overview is incomplete: manufacturing was not the leading sector throughout, as retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020. The retail and healthcare account also omits their 1980 figures and does not clearly describe their separate rises; “showed same number” is vague. Agriculture is mentioned as the smallest sector, but its decline from 6 to 2 million is not reported. The response is 128 words, below the 150-word minimum, so the limited coverage is compounded by insufficient development. Add a fuller overview and key comparisons across all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence: an introduction, an overview, and then details about manufacturing and the other sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression is uneven because agriculture is left as an unfinished final point, and the account does not group the trends into clear comparisons. Linking words such as “Whereas,” “In contrast,” and “While” are used, but some introduce fragments rather than complete, connected ideas. For example, “Whereas, in 2000 15 million in retail sector…” does not clearly attach to the preceding sentence. Use complete sentences, organise the body by related trends, and finish the agriculture comparison to make the report more cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “growth,” “decline,” “sharp rise,” and “lowest proportions.” These choices show an attempt to vary language rather than simply repeat “jobs.” However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “most popular sector in providing jobs,” “making it on the top,” and “represented a decline.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “providng,” and “proportions” is not the clearest term for job totals. These choices sometimes make the intended comparison less precise. Prefer standard chart language such as “largest employer,” “reached a peak,” and “the number of jobs fell,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast between manufacturing and the other sectors. However, complex structures are often incomplete or inaccurately joined. “Whereas, in 2000 15 million in retail sector…” lacks a main verb, while “but showed same number of jobs in 2020” has an unclear subject and missing article. There are also errors in articles and sentence boundaries, as in “in manufacturing sector,” and punctuation is inconsistent, including missing spaces after commas and full stops. These recurring problems make some relationships between figures difficult to follow. Build each comparison as a complete sentence with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, agreement, and punctuation.

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