Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the graph illustrates gives informations about the number of jobs in fours of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.Let's dig some comments about the graph.

Overall,the manufacturing sector had the highest jobs in the first year,but start declining whereas,the retail and the agriculture had the same number of jobs in 1960,the retail surge while the agriculture fell down.

In 1960,manufacturing had the highest number of jobs in millions,in 1980 it surged and later it fell down in 2000 till 2020,the healthcare in 1960 was the lowest,then starting surging during the rest of the years.

The retail and agriculture,had the same number in 1960 furthermore,one surged at one point in 1980 till 2000 and surge a little bit in 2020,while the second one declined in 1980,and continue decreasing for the rest of the years.

To conclude,i can say the sector which notice an increase rate throughout the years in the healthcare sector and the lowest is the agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify several important features: manufacturing is highest at the start, healthcare rises over time, and agriculture declines. These observations broadly match the graph, and you include comparisons between the sectors. However, some key details are unclear or incomplete. For example, manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 before falling, while retail increases steadily and finishes slightly above manufacturing; these comparisons are not clearly stated. The overview also says agriculture was the lowest sector, but healthcare was lowest in 1960, and agriculture was lowest only in later years. Add a concise overview with the main rankings and endpoint changes, then support it with accurate figures such as healthcare rising from about 2 to 16 million jobs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has an overall structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details about the sectors. This helps the reader recognise the main topic. However, progression is limited because the second and third body paragraphs repeat the same comparisons, especially the rise in retail and fall in agriculture. Linking words such as “furthermore,” “while,” and “to conclude” are used, but some connections feel mechanical or do not clarify the relationship between ideas. Group the information more purposefully—for example, describe manufacturing and retail together, then agriculture and healthcare—and avoid repeating the same trend. Clearer paragraph focus and more precise referencing would make the account easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declining,” “surged,” and “increase rate,” so the reader can generally understand the changes you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and several choices or combinations are unnatural, such as “the highest jobs,” “fell down,” and “notice an increase rate.” “Surged” also suggests a particularly sharp rise, which may overstate the steady growth shown for retail and healthcare. Use standard chart language and vary it accurately: “the number of jobs,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable.” More precise vocabulary would improve clarity and make comparisons sound more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses joined with “whereas” and “while,” and the main trends are usually understandable. However, some sentence structures are faulty or difficult to follow. For example, “the graph illustrates gives” combines two verb forms, and “the sector which notice an increase rate throughout the years in the healthcare sector” lacks a clear grammatical structure. There are also issues with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “the retail and the agriculture, had” and the frequent missing spaces after full stops. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check verb forms and sentence boundaries before finishing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.