Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs of four different sector in which people of US is hired starting from year 1960 to 2020 in the economy .

overall , people in manufacturing and retail makes up the significant role in job sectors, howerver while agriculture constitutes the smallest share of jobs in the economy .

Apparently in maufacturing 15 million people were employed in the year 1960 which gradually grew to 20 million in 1980 then declined to 13 million in 2020 . for those who were working in retail started at 5 million in 1960 showed a steady growth to 15 million being employed in the year 2020 .

In contrast , Agriculture declined over the years beginning in the year 1960 with 5 million and ending up with just handful of 2 million people working in the sector , Healthcare sector has considerably shown an rapid rose in employement with 2 million in 1960 which rose to 15 million in 2020 .

In conclusion , manufacturing has been the dominent sector whereas healthcare has been increasing in a stagering speed while agriculture sector has been declining .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing is initially prominent, agriculture is the smallest sector, and healthcare rises while agriculture declines. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and falling to 13 million by 2020. However, some comparisons are incomplete or inaccurate: retail ends at about 16 million, not 15 million, and healthcare also reaches about 16 million, rather than 15 million. The overview’s claim that manufacturing “has been the dominant sector” overlooks that retail and healthcare catch up with it by 2020. To strengthen the report, compare the final values explicitly and describe the changing ranking across the period; some trends are currently reported less fully than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the sectors and a concluding summary. Grouping manufacturing and retail before contrasting agriculture and healthcare gives the reader a basic route through the data. However, the progression is sometimes weakened by mechanical transitions such as “In contrast” and “In conclusion,” and the final sentence largely repeats the overview rather than adding a useful comparison. Some sentence boundaries also make relationships between trends less clear, particularly the long sentence beginning “In contrast, Agriculture declined…” where two sector descriptions are joined. Use clearer paragraphing and organise details around comparable trends—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—to make the progression more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “declined,” “steady growth,” “employed,” and “smallest share,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “rapid rise,” though some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “people … is hired” and “makes up the significant role” do not express the intended meaning idiomatically. Spelling errors such as “maufacturing,” “employement,” “domin ent” and “stagering” also reduce precision. Aim for accurate, conventional collocations such as “the number of people employed in” and “accounted for the largest share.” A more precise range of trend verbs and fewer spelling slips would make the report clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while” and “which,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, some grammatical errors remain in sentence construction and agreement. For example, “four different sector” needs a plural noun, while “people of US is hired” has problems with the article, preposition and subject–verb agreement. In “people in manufacturing and retail makes,” the plural subject requires a plural verb. The sentence beginning “for those who were working in retail started…” also lacks a clear grammatical subject structure. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, with spaces before commas and lower-case sentence openings. Check agreement and build each sentence around a clear subject and verb, especially when combining clauses.

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