Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Health care of the economy in US between 1960 to 2020.The number of jobs represent vertically in millions.

Overall health care and retail witnessed a sharp increase while manufacturing and agriculture faced down fall in 1960 to 2020.Agriculture economy minor decreased whereas manufacturing witnessed a considerable decline.

First of all health care in 1960 was approximately 2 million but in 2020 health care reached at its peak and gained 16 millions.Secondlay retail climb steadily and reached almost same of agriculture was 16 millions.

Manufacturing was the main economy which faced down fall it was 15 million in 1960 while in 1980 it experienced a dramatic surge but in 2000 and 2020 it plummeted and reached almost 13 millions. At the end retail was approximately 5.5 million in 1960 whereas it declined sharply and reached at 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad contrast between rising healthcare and retail employment and falling agriculture, and you include several relevant figures. However, the report only partially captures the graph because some key trends and comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. For example, retail rose from about 6 million to 16 million; it did not “declined sharply” at the end, and the 5.5-million figure belongs near its starting point, not as a separate final trend. Manufacturing peaked at about 20 million in 1980 before falling, while agriculture declined from 6 million to 2 million. The overview mentions general directions but does not clearly identify the main ranking changes, such as healthcare and retail ending level at around 16 million. Select and report the series accurately, with a clearer overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure: an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, so the reader can recognise the intended report. Some sequencing is also apparent through phrases such as “Overall,” “First of all” and “At the end.” However, progression is weakened by unclear grouping and inaccurate references. The final sentence says retail declined to 2 million, although this appears to describe agriculture, leaving the reader unsure which series is being discussed. “Secondlay” and “At the end” do not create precise links between the comparisons, and the detail paragraph moves between sectors without a consistent pattern. Grouping the two rising sectors together, then the two declining or fluctuating sectors, and using clear references to each line would make the organisation more coherent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “sharp increase,” “steadily,” “dramatic surge” and “considerable decline.” These attempts help convey movement, although some choices are inaccurate or awkward in context. “Reached at its peak” is not a natural collocation, and “faced down fall” is an imprecise way to describe a decrease. The phrase “reached almost same of agriculture” also makes the comparison difficult to understand. There are spelling and form errors, including “Secondlay” and “Health care,” but the intended meaning is generally recoverable. Aim for precise, conventional chart language such as “rose to,” “fell to,” “remained stable” and “ended at the same level as,” ensuring that the chosen verb matches the actual trend.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast with “while” and a time clause beginning “but in 2000 and 2020.” However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to follow. For example, “The number of jobs represent vertically in millions” has problems with subject–verb agreement and sentence construction; “in 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect time expression; and “health care reached at its peak and gained 16 millions” contains faulty verb patterns and plural marking. Several sentences also lack spaces after full stops, as in “2020.The” and “2020.Agriculture.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting, articles, prepositions and sentence boundaries, while keeping complex comparisons grammatically controlled.

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