Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

it is the graph showing the jobs in the four major sectors of economy during year 1960 to 2020. Manufacturing sector was only major economic sector during the year 1960 with the retail and agritcultar on the second place but as the time passed maufacturing sector jobs decreased in numbers from 20 to less than 15 but it reached at its peak in 1980.

Agricultral sector was on second place with retail during 1960 but as the year passed it loses its hold and become near to zero in the year 2020. it is the only sector ehich suffered the most as the years passed.

while contrary to agricultre, retail sector created more jobs and reached at its peak during the year 2020. According to graph it has created about fifteen percent jobs in the year 2020 showing its major contribution in the modern era.

Lastly the health care sector was not so advanced in the year 1960 has shown the most growth with 15 percemt jobs created in 2020.

so if we compare growth of the sectors health care has shown the most woth retail on second number.

comparsion to these agricularal sector dipped a lot in the year passed while manufacturing sector remains on of the demanding sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad trends: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare grow. However, several figures and comparisons are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing starts at about 15 million in 1960, not 20; retail and agriculture are tied at about 6 million then; and healthcare and retail both finish at around 16 million, rather than the 15 percent you give for each. Agriculture falls to about 2 million, not near zero. The response also lacks a clear, concise overview of the main changes and sometimes describes jobs as percentages. To strengthen the report, state the overall ranking and key turning points accurately, then support them with selected figures and consistent units.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has some organisation, moving through manufacturing and agriculture before discussing retail and healthcare, and it uses basic links such as “while contrary to” and “Lastly.” However, the progression is not consistently clear: the opening combines several trends, and the final comparison repeats earlier points without bringing them together precisely. Some transitions are awkward or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas, while repeated references to sectors make the report feel list-like. Grouping the declining sectors together and then the growing sectors would create a clearer progression. Add a separate overview near the beginning and use linking phrases to compare trends, rather than relying mainly on “while” and “so.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “peak,” “decreased,” “growth,” and “contribution,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “created more jobs,” “lost its hold,” and “demanding sector.” The repeated use of “jobs” and “sector” also makes the description less precise. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “agritcultar,” “maufacturing,” and “comparsion,” which reduce clarity and control. Use standard chart language such as “employment rose,” “the number of jobs declined,” and “remained a major employer,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use time clauses, for example, “as the time passed,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur in phrases such as “it loses its hold and become” and “health care sector … has shown,” where the tense and subject-verb pattern are not handled accurately. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also weak: several sentences begin with lowercase letters, and the final comparison is a fragment (“comparsion to these…”). Most structures are simple, with longer attempts often becoming difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build comparisons as complete sentences, for example: “While agriculture declined, retail employment rose steadily.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.