Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The chart illustrates the information about number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US for the period ([redacted phone]):

Starting from Manufacturing jobs, it was observed that the manufacturing jobs in the particular year 1980 was among the highest demanded jobs around 20 million jobs which hold the first position in the category, later it goes decline in the year 2000 with the job demand of around 17 million in the manufacturing sector, while back in 1960's the job demanded was 15 million and currently at last, in 2020 the job demanded was at their lowest around 13 million jobs.

For the retail sector, it is pretty obvious that from 1960's to 2020 the jobs demand has significantly increased over the years with only 5 million jobs demand in 1960, than the number got doubled in 1980 around 10 million. Than, in 2000, it reaches to 15 million and at last it was highest at 16 million in 2020 with the slight increase in retail sector.

For agriculture sector, the jobs have declined or sustained over the decades from 5 million jobs demanded in 1960s and in 1980 and 2000 the jobs demanded were similar with around 3 million after declining and in 2020 the job demanded were only 2 million.

At last, Health care sector. It has increased over the years because of healthcare demand and increased population with 5 million jobs in 1960, thant 10 million jobs in 1980 and than in 2000 it reaches to 15 million, and finally in 2020 the number got reached at its highest to 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You cover all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing peaking at about 20 million in 1980 and agriculture falling to around 2 million by 2020. However, the task is only partially addressed because there is no clear overall summary of the main patterns or comparisons. Some figures are also inaccurate: retail was about 6 million, not 5 million, in 1960, while healthcare was about 2 million then and rose to 5 million in 1980, rather than 5 and 10 million respectively. The claim that healthcare growth reflects population growth is not shown by the graph. Add a concise overview highlighting the broad trends and the sectors’ relative positions, and check each figure against the chart.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a coherent sequence, with a separate paragraph for each sector, so the reader can follow the account. Time markers such as “in 1980,” “in 2000” and “finally in 2020” help establish chronology. However, the organisation is mainly a series of sector-by-sector descriptions rather than a clear progression from an overview to the most important comparisons. Repeated openings such as “For the retail sector” and “For agriculture sector,” along with repeated “than” and “at last,” make cohesion somewhat mechanical. Use an opening overview, then group related trends—for example, the declining manufacturing and agriculture figures against the growth in retail and healthcare—and use linking phrases selectively.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing sector,” “declined,” “sustained” and “increased,” and the meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “jobs demanded” and “number,” and several combinations are unnatural for describing employment data. For example, “highest demanded jobs” and “the job demanded was at their lowest” do not express the figures clearly; the chart shows numbers of jobs, not demand. There are also spelling or word-form slips such as “thant” and “than” where “then” is intended. Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “employment stood at,” “the number of jobs rose,” and “reached a peak.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, including clauses linked with “while” and “because,” and the main trends can usually be understood. However, some sentence structures are awkward or incomplete, and errors recur in tense, agreement, articles and punctuation. For instance, “the manufacturing jobs … was” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “it reaches to 15 million” shifts tense and uses an unnecessary preposition. The long manufacturing sentence also joins several time points without clear punctuation, making the relationships harder to follow. Use past-tense reporting consistently, check singular and plural agreement, and divide long sequences into shorter sentences with clear comparisons.

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