Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The graph depicts the number of jobs in manucfacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020. Overall, there was an increase in the numbers of jobs in the healthcare and retail sector, however a decline is seen in the number of jobs in the manufacturing and agricultural sector.

Number of jobs in the manufacturing sector rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in the year 1980, before the numbers crashed fron 20 million to approximately 13 million in 2020. The agricultural sector also saw a decline from approximately 5 million in the year 1960 to less than 3 million in the the year 2020.

The retail sector recorded a steady increase from the year 1960 to 2000, with approximately 10 million jobs added. A slow paced increase was seen from 2000 to 2020 with an addition of approximately 1 million jobs. Finally, the healthcare sector recorded a steady increase from about 2 million recorded jobs in 1960 to approximately 16 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response identifies the main overall contrast accurately: healthcare and retail employment rose, while manufacturing and agriculture declined. It also selects relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and healthcare’s rise to about 16 million by 2020. The retail trend is described clearly, although “approximately 10 million jobs added” could be more precise: the total rose from 6 million to 15 million between 1960 and 2000. Agriculture is also broadly represented, but its starting point is closer to 6 million, rather than 5 million. The overview and supporting details address the task well; to strengthen the report further, make comparisons between sectors at key dates, especially their similar 2020 totals.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The report is organised into a clear introduction and overview, followed by two paragraphs describing the sector trends. Information progresses logically, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “before,” and “Finally” help guide the reader. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture and then retail with healthcare is also a sensible way to present the data. Some connections could be more flexible and precise: the final paragraph shifts from retail to healthcare with “Finally,” but does not compare their shared rise or their equal 2020 figure. The repeated use of “sector” and “increase” also makes parts of the progression somewhat formulaic. Add a direct comparison at the end and vary the links between related trends to make cohesion more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of chart vocabulary, including “depicts,” “recorded,” “steady increase,” and “decline,” and the meaning remains clear throughout. There is some flexibility in describing movement, such as “rose” and “crashed,” although “crashed” is too dramatic for the gradual fall shown after 1980; “declined” would be more appropriate. “A slow paced increase” is an awkward collocation, and “numbers of jobs” is less natural than “number of jobs” or “employment.” There are also spelling slips in “manucfacturing” and “fron.” These do not prevent understanding, but more accurate spelling and more measured, precise word choices would improve control and naturalness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including the contrastive clause “before the numbers…,” and most sentences communicate the trends clearly. Some grammatical errors remain. The introduction says “between 1960 to 2020”; use “between 1960 and 2020” or “from 1960 to 2020.” In “the numbers crashed from 20 million,” the plural subject is awkwardly paired with a singular quantity; “employment fell from 20 million jobs” is clearer. The phrase “in the the year 2020” repeats the article, and “a decline is seen” shifts unnecessarily into the passive. Continue using varied sentence forms, while checking prepositions, articles, and subject–verb phrasing to make the writing more consistently accurate.

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