Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the data of employment in a four divisions of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall the main trend tells that there is a climb in economy of manufacturing sector of US ,while theAgriculture industry faces a down fall throughout all the years . The number of jobs in other sectors stay moderated from 1960 to 2020 .

In 1960 the number of jobs in manufacturing department is 15 million which was increased to 20 million by 1980 ,but unfortunately the nuber of jobs was decreased by the end of 2020. The number of retail jobs was very low at the begining ,However it becomes high with the quantity of 15 million in the year of 2000 . Healthcare jobs were less in number during the 1960 but the number of jobs in 2020 is approximately 16 million which is just below the manufacturing catagory .

To conclude ,fluctuations seems in every depatment with a rise and fall of economy, but the successfull economy by the end of 2000 is retail comapny .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980 and healthcare reaching about 16 million in 2020. However, the overview misrepresents the main patterns: manufacturing did not climb overall, but fell after 1980, while retail and healthcare rose substantially. The claim that other sectors stayed “moderated” is unclear, and agriculture’s decline is not supported with figures. Some comparisons are also inaccurate: healthcare and retail both reached about 16 million in 2020, rather than healthcare being below manufacturing, which stood at about 13 million. The conclusion’s reference to retail success by 2000 is imprecise. A clearer overview and more accurate comparisons would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to an overview, supporting details and a concluding sentence. This gives the reader some organisation, and the sector-by-sector details are generally relevant. However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory statements, particularly the overview that manufacturing climbs and the conclusion that the economy shows rises and falls in every department. The final sentence repeats a general idea rather than synthesising the key trends. Linking words such as “However” and “To conclude” are used, but some connections feel mechanical or do not clarify the relationship between ideas. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with manufacturing’s later decline and agriculture’s fall would create a clearer progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “employment,” “sector,” “increased,” “decreased” and “fluctuations,” so the topic is usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. Phrases such as “climb in economy,” “stay moderated,” “down fall” and “successfull economy” do not express the intended trends precisely; “retail company” also mislabels a sector. Spelling errors, including “nuber,” “begining,” “depatment” and “comapny,” are noticeable and reduce clarity. Aim for precise trend language and standard collocations, such as “employment rose,” “remained stable,” and “the retail sector.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the main meaning can usually be followed. However, control is inconsistent, especially in sentence construction, articles, agreement and verb forms. For example, “in a four divisions” has an article and plural mismatch, while “the number of jobs … which was increased” uses an awkward passive construction. In “The number of retail jobs was very low … However it becomes high,” the tense shifts from past to present, and the punctuation around “However” is faulty. The overview sentence beginning “Overall the main trend tells that” is also structurally awkward. Use consistent past-tense reporting and build shorter, complete sentences before attempting more complex comparisons.

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