Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the amount of jobs in four fields of US economy between 1960 and 2020 in millions.

Overall, manufacturing has the highest number of jobs in the initial year as compared to agriculture which has the lowest. While retail and healthcare rosed at their own pace to become the sector with highest number of jobs in the final year.

In 1960, manufacturing employed nearly 15 million people compared with around 6 million in retail and agriculture combined. manufacturing employment then rose to 20 million people in 1980 before falling to about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. While, retail sector saw a gradual growth year by year with 10 million employees in 1980 and 15 million in 2000, eventually reaching up to 16 million in 2020.

Healthcare showed most promising growth with initially 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, 11 million in 2000 and around 16 million in 2020. In contrast agriculture produced around 6 million jobs in 1960 but it started declining in coming years with 3 million in 1980, remained stable in 2000 and then decline slightly to around 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You provide a clear overview of the main changes: manufacturing starts highest and declines after 1980, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture remains the smallest sector by the end. The key figures are generally accurate, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million and healthcare’s increase from 2 to about 16 million. You also make relevant comparisons across the four sectors. However, the overview’s claim that retail and healthcare “become the sector with highest” is imprecise: they are joint highest at around 16 million in 2020, rather than one sector alone. The description of retail as growing “year by year” also goes beyond the four plotted years. State the endpoint comparison precisely and avoid implying unshown annual data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised effectively into an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. Grouping manufacturing with retail, then healthcare with agriculture, gives the reader a sensible route through the data, and sequencing figures by year makes the trends easy to follow. This meets the lower-band expectation of a coherent overall arrangement. Some cohesion is less controlled, however: “While” begins a sentence fragment after the manufacturing description, and “While, retail…” is an awkward transition. The overview also refers to retail and healthcare together without clearly explaining that they finish level. To strengthen progression further, use complete contrast sentences and clearer links between the overview and the exact comparisons in the detail paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-relevant vocabulary, including “employed,” “gradual growth,” “declining,” and “remained stable,” which helps describe changes rather than merely list figures. Meaning is generally clear, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or informal for a data report. “Amount of jobs” is less suitable than “number of jobs,” and “rose at their own pace” is vague. “Most promising growth” sounds evaluative rather than objective, while “reaching up to” is unnecessarily wordy. There is also a word-form error in “ro sed” (intended as “rose”) and inconsistent capitalisation of “manufacturing.” More precise trend language and consistent formal phrasing would improve control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including comparisons with “compared with” and a contrast introduced by “In contrast.” Most figures and trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. “Retail and healthcare rosed” uses an incorrect past-tense form and has an awkward singular construction; “the sector with highest number” is missing an article and does not clearly express the joint result. “While, retail sector saw…” is not a complete, well-punctuated sentence, and “then decline slightly” should be “then declined slightly.” Capitalisation after a full stop is also inconsistent. Check verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries, especially when using contrast clauses, while retaining the range of structures you already attempt.

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