Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020. The four sectors are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and last but not the least healthcare. The jobs are shown in millions per year. in manufacturing sector we see a gradual decline , in 1980 it had highest jobs of 20 millions available after that there's a Sharp decline. on the other hand we clearly ses that in retail there's a sharp increase year by year. in 1960 there's only 60 million jobs but in 2020 its skyrocketing to 16 million jobs. so is the case in healthcare there's also a sharp increase as much like to retail. in agriculture sector there's a slow fall. to sum up the discussion we can say that retail and healthcare sectors have mor6job opportunities than agriculture and manufacturing also there's a sharp decline.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report the broad directions of change: manufacturing eventually falls, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines. However, the overview is not sufficiently precise: manufacturing first rises from 15 million to a peak of 20 million in 1980, rather than showing a gradual decline throughout, and retail and healthcare only reach similar levels by 2020. The claim that retail had “60 million” jobs in 1960 is a major misreading; the figure is about 6 million. The final comparison that retail and healthcare have more jobs than manufacturing is also inaccurate for much of the period. The response is 137 words, below the 150-word minimum, and several key stages and comparisons are omitted. Add accurate figures and a clearer overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the chart, comments on the sectors, and ends with a summary. Linking phrases such as “on the other hand” and “to sum up” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the information is presented as one continuous paragraph, and the progression between sectors is not always clear. The repeated pattern “there’s a sharp increase” gives little sense of how the trends compare over time, while “so is the case in healthcare” is an unclear link. Organise the report into a short introduction, an overview, and paragraphs grouping related trends—for example, the rising sectors and the declining ones. Use transitions to show contrasts and changes across the years, rather than relying on a few repeated connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “gradual decline,” “sharp increase,” “jobs,” and “sectors,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There is also an attempt to vary description with “skyrocketing.” However, several expressions are imprecise or unsuitable for an academic report: “jobs … available” and “more job opportunities” describe opportunities rather than the number of jobs shown, and “sharp decline” does not accurately describe manufacturing’s initial rise. “Last but not the least” is an awkward formula, while “mor6job” appears to be a typing or spelling error. Aim for precise terms such as “employment,” “rose,” “peaked,” and “fell,” and use them consistently with the data. Avoid dramatic wording when a neutral description is more appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate the general topic using simple clauses and some linked sentences, but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors recur. For example, “The graph illustrates about the number” has an unnecessary preposition, and “in 1980 it had highest jobs” is missing an article and uses an unclear subject. The sentence beginning “in 1960 there's only 60 million jobs” shifts into an inaccurate present-tense construction, while “retail and healthcare sectors have mor6job opportunities than agriculture and manufacturing also there's a sharp decline” joins several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, including lowercase sentence openings and a comma before a space. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, articles, and sentence boundaries, and build longer sentences only when their clauses are clearly controlled.

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