Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given chart illustrates the jobs in the USA by presenting the numbers of employes and mentioned their years.

Overall it is clear that it shows the numbers of employes in different years.Additionly manufacturing group showed a far more noticable change compared to others. A contrasting pattteren seen in agricultural group which reamain comparatively stable.

At the beginning of the period. manufacturing stood at the 15 millions and then it rose quickly to reach 20 millions.And it started to come down steadily and stop on the 14 million jobs.Likewise healthcare experienced increase rapidly but its chage was less significant then manfacturing its stop on 16 milllions jobs.

in contrast reatail also being notceable

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and report some relevant figures, including manufacturing rising from 15 million to 20 million before declining, and healthcare reaching 16 million. However, the response addresses the task only partially: the overview is vague, and the claim that agriculture remained “comparatively stable” misses its overall fall from 6 million to 2 million. Retail is introduced but not described, and the final sentence is incomplete. The manufacturing endpoint is also given as 14 million rather than approximately 13 million. The response contains 113 words, below the required 150, so there is not enough detail to summarise the main trends and comparisons. Include all four sectors and a clear overview of their contrasting patterns.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: an introduction is followed by an overview and then details about manufacturing and healthcare. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Likewise,” and “in contrast” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is limited because retail is left as an unfinished fragment (“in contrast reatail also being notceable”), while agriculture receives only a brief, inaccurate overview. Several ideas are crowded together, and spacing and punctuation make the sequence harder to follow. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate paragraphs to compare the sectors, ensuring each paragraph develops a complete point. Clearer links between changes over time would also make the report easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “rose,” “come down steadily,” “increase rapidly,” and “comparatively stable,” so the reader can recognise the general subject and some trends. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the report less clear, such as “employes,” “Additionly,” “noticable,” “patterten,” and “reatail.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “stop on the 14 million jobs” and “a far more noticeable change” do not describe the data clearly. Build a more accurate set of trend expressions, such as “peaked at,” “declined to,” and “rose gradually,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast with “but” and a comparison introduced by “Likewise.” However, the range is limited, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, verb forms, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “At the beginning of the period. manufacturing stood…” incorrectly separates the opening phrase from its sentence, while “it rose quickly to reach 20 millions.And it started” has faulty punctuation and an incorrect plural form. The final clause, “retail also being noticeable,” is not a complete sentence. Practise writing complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs, and use full stops and commas to separate ideas accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.