Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart provides us knowledge about the number of career prospects in four segments of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020
overall the diagrams illustrates different sectors which includes manufacturing retail agriculture and healthcare with total amount of jobs ranges from 0 to 25 million from year 1960 to 2020.
These four sectors of the US economy showed with different lines . Manufacturing have flat line with o shape in the center Retail have dotted line agriculture have shaded box whereas the health-care have star in the center
Manufacturing sector spiked in 1980 with over 20 million jobs and then decline to 15 million. Retail sector secure second position started from 5 million and then gradually rose to 15 million.following health-care hold third position remained relatively low in start within jump to 15 million in year 2020 .Agricultre did not show much progress They decline from 5 million to less then 2 million in year 2020 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing peaking around 1980 and agriculture declining. However, the overview is not clearly stated, and some comparisons or figures are inaccurate: manufacturing falls to about 13 million by 2020, not 15 million; retail rises from about 6 to 16 million, rather than ending at 15; and healthcare reaches about 16 million, not 15. The description of chart-line styles does not help summarise the data, while the key overall comparison—that retail and healthcare finish joint highest, overtaking manufacturing—is missing. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview of the main changes, then support it with accurate figures and direct comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has some organisation: it introduces the chart, names the sectors, and then describes trends. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening repeats general information and the paragraph about line styles interrupts the account of the data. The final section combines several sectors in a long sequence, with few clear links between the comparisons. Punctuation and spacing also make boundaries between ideas unclear, as in “15 million.following health-care”. Use a clear structure—introduction, overview, and one or two detail paragraphs—and connect related trends with accurate linking phrases such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile”. This would make the information easier to follow without relying on a list-like sequence.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary, including “spiked”, “gradually rose” and “decline”, and you attempt to vary the wording for sectors and jobs. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a line graph: “career prospects” does not mean the number of jobs, “segments” is less suitable than “sectors” here, and “secure second position” is an awkward way to compare figures. “Flat line” and the descriptions of dotted or shaded lines also distract from the data. Spelling errors such as “Agricultre” and inconsistent forms such as “health-care” reduce precision. Prefer standard chart language and use it consistently, for example “employment”, “rose to”, “fell to” and “accounted for”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, but control is uneven and errors frequently make the relationships between ideas harder to understand. Examples include “overall the diagrams illustrates”, where the subject and verb do not agree, and “Manufacturing have flat line”, which also lacks an article. Tense and sentence construction are problematic in “They decline from 5 million to less then 2 million”, while several clauses run together without appropriate punctuation. Capitalisation at sentence beginnings and commas are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, such as “Manufacturing employment peaked at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million in 2020.” Then check agreement, articles, tense and sentence boundaries.
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