Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,the jobs in healthcare grown over the time while agriculture faced downward trend over the 60 years period.

In terms of Manufacturing, it was 15 million jobs in 1960, then it reached at peak in 1980 which was 20 millions, afterwards it seemed downward trend at last it remained just over the 10 millions.When it comes to retails,it seemed steady growth until 2000, it was 15 millions then their jobs remained stable and it finished at just top of 15 millions in 2020.

In healthcare,it seemed increasing trend from the beginning it was near 2 millions in 1960 then it reached 5 millions in 1980 afterwars it experienced steady increased over time and finished ar 15 millions same to Retail in 2020.When it comes to agriculture,it faced downward trend from the starting,it started with just up to 5 millions in 1960 , then from 1980 to 2000 it remained stable afterwards in last 20 years their jobs decreased and it remained at just up to 2 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main contrasting trends: healthcare rises, agriculture declines, manufacturing peaks and then falls, and retail grows. Several figures and comparisons are also relevant, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and healthcare and retail ending at similar levels. However, some details are imprecise or inaccurate: retail did not remain stable after 2000, but rose slightly from about 15 to 16 million, while healthcare finished at about 16 million rather than 15 million. The overview also omits the important shift by 2020, when retail and healthcare were the largest sectors. More precise reporting of these end-point comparisons would make the summary more complete and better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. The grouping of manufacturing with retail and healthcare with agriculture makes the information easy to follow, and phrases such as “In terms of” and “When it comes to” signal transitions. However, these linking expressions are repeated and can make the progression feel mechanical. Some references are also unclear, particularly “their jobs” when discussing retail and agriculture, and several long sentences combine multiple stages without clear punctuation. To improve, use more varied, precise links and separate the key changes into shorter sentences, while keeping comparisons between sectors explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peak,” “downward trend,” “steady growth,” and “remained stable,” so the reader can understand the main movements. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “it seemed downward trend” and “steady increased” do not express the trends naturally, while “retails” is not the appropriate sector label. There are also spelling errors such as “afterwars” and “ar,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim to use a smaller set of precise trend phrases correctly—for example, “declined,” “rose steadily,” and “levelled off”—and check spelling and sector names carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “while,” “then,” and “afterwards,” and the overall meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “healthcare grown” needs a finite verb (“healthcare grew”), and “it reached at peak” has an incorrect verb pattern and is missing an article. There are also problems with tense and sentence boundaries in “afterwards it seemed downward trend at last it remained,” where the stages need clearer grammatical separation. Review past-tense forms, articles, and verb patterns, and use full stops or semicolons to prevent run-on sentences. These corrections would make your varied sentence structures more controlled.

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