Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the line graph, we have given information about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020 in US. Fristly, there was a downfall of manfucatoring sector in recent years, secondly, increasing numbers of jobs in retail and healthcare sector and thirdly, decreasing number of job in agriculture sector. Lets discuss all the sectors.

Firstly, the manufactoring sector had rise in job about 15 millions to 20 millions in the year 1980 and now, its decreases to 8 million jobs in year 2020. Secondly, the jobs for retail sector was rising since year 1960 from 6 millions jobs approx to 16 millions jobs approx in the year 2020. Thirdly, the jobs for agriculture sector was decreasing since year 1960 to 2020. Lastly, the healthcare job sector was rising since year 1960 from 3 millions jobs to 16 millions jobs in the year 2020.

Overall, the job sectors for retail and healthcare was rising till year the 2020. The job sectors for manufactoring and agriculture was decrasing in till the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad movements: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines, and you note manufacturing’s peak in 1980. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear. Manufacturing falls to about 13 million in 2020, not 8 million, and healthcare begins at about 2 million rather than 3 million. The overview also says manufacturing and agriculture were decreasing “till” 2020, although manufacturing first rose substantially before declining. The response reports few comparisons between sectors and gives limited detail about the stages of change. To strengthen the summary, select the most important turning points and endpoint figures accurately, and make the final ranking clear: retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, while agriculture is lowest.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a sequence of sector descriptions and a concluding overview. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” help readers follow the list. However, the progression is mechanical and repetitive, and the overview comes after the details rather than clearly establishing the main comparisons early. “Lets discuss all the sectors” is conversational and does not help organise an academic summary. The final paragraph repeats earlier trends without adding a clear synthesis, and the repeated use of “the jobs for… sector” makes the links between ideas feel formulaic. Grouping related trends—for example, the two rising sectors together—would create a clearer progression and more effective comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the broad trends, with useful task-related terms such as “increasing,” “decreasing,” and “sector.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “Fristly,” “manfucatoring,” “manufactoring,” and “decrasing” recur or appear in key descriptions. Some phrases are also unnatural, including “a downfall of… sector” and “increasing numbers of jobs,” where more precise trend language would be clearer. Repetition of “jobs,” “sector,” and “rising” further limits flexibility. Practise accurate forms of common chart vocabulary and use alternatives such as “employment,” “rose,” “declined,” and “reached a peak” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentence patterns, with some attempts to connect clauses, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction make the writing less controlled. For example, “the manufactoring sector had rise” needs a correct past-tense form, while “its decreases” has an incorrect verb form. In “the jobs for retail sector was rising,” the subject and verb do not agree, and “from 6 millions jobs” uses an incorrect plural construction. The final sentence, “was decrasing in till,” also shows faulty tense and preposition patterns. Build accuracy first with clear past-tense sentences, then add a few well-controlled comparisons using clauses such as “while” or “whereas.”

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