Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares infromation about the employee in four Us economy sector ( Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare. ) from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs at healthcare sector was all time lowest in 1960, while after decades it becomes all time highest. Manufacturing sector fluctuate, and agriculture felt gradually, throughout periods.
In 1960, manufacturing company had highest numbers of employee, 15 millions, by 20 years, the number of employee increased to, 20 millions, but by 2020, the employed number fell to 13 millions, all time lowest. Agriculture fell gradually till 2020 from 6 million to 3 million.
In 1960, healthcare sector had all time lowest employee, 3.5 million, by 2020 it reach at its peak, 16 million, that is all time highest. The number of jobs at retail was 6 million, in 1960, by 2020 it also touch same hight as healthcare, 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main overall shifts: manufacturing rises before declining, while healthcare grows and agriculture falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail and healthcare both reaching about 16 million in 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or incomplete: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3.5 million, and agriculture falls from 6 million to 2 million by 2020, rather than ending at 3 million. The overview also misses the important crossover in which retail and healthcare catch up with manufacturing by the end. The response is two words below the required minimum. More accurate comparisons and fuller coverage of the trends would strengthen the summary.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs of details. The time-based organisation makes the figures reasonably easy to follow, and phrases such as “In 1960” and “by 2020” help signal comparisons. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, with repeated openings and similar sentence patterns. Some links between figures are unclear; for example, the manufacturing sentence moves from the 1980 peak directly to 2020 without reporting the 2000 value, and the agriculture trend is compressed into one sentence. Grouping the sectors by contrasting trends and using clearer links between stages would make the organisation more cohesive and comparisons easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “fell,” “peak,” and “highest,” so the main message is generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “employee” for the number of jobs, “manufacturing company,” “all time lowest,” and “touch same hight.” There are also spelling errors, including “infromation,” “Us,” and “hight,” which reduce precision. Try to use standard chart language consistently—for example, “the number of jobs,” “reached a peak,” and “declined”—and check spelling and word forms. A broader, more accurate range of trend vocabulary would help you express comparisons more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast with “while” in the overview and time clauses such as “by 20 years.” The intended meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. Examples include missing or incorrect articles and prepositions in “at healthcare sector,” faulty verb forms in “it reach,” and awkward sentence construction in “by 20 years, the number … increased to, 20 millions.” Agreement and number forms also need attention, as in “the number … was” followed by plural “employee.” Punctuation around parentheses and commas is inconsistent. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build sentences around “the number of jobs” to improve control while retaining varied structures.
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