Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The following chart shows that information about the number of jobs in four different sector of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. This graph divided by on foure decades and number of millions . In the first decade 1960 to 1980 the manufacturing dramaticly increas 10 million jobs, retail and agriculture increas in small number but almost similar retail upto 4 million and healthcare 2 million . On the same decade agriculture move to down 3 milion jobs in US economy . During the second period 1980 to 2000 manufacturing decreasingly 4 million and reatil, agriculture same move up like the previous period 5 millions. The healthcare there is no changes coming in the present duration and in next period in 2000 to 2020 but the other sectory manufacturing decreasingly continously 5 millions jobs and retail increasingly slightly 2 millions jobs, healthcare drameticly increase up to 6 million jobs in this period .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and describe several broad movements, including manufacturing’s rise and later decline and healthcare’s growth. However, key figures and trends are misreported: manufacturing rose by about 5 million from 1960 to 1980, not 10; retail rose by 4 million in that period, while agriculture fell by 3 million. From 1980 to 2000, retail rose by about 5 million, but agriculture stayed near 3 million rather than rising. The overview is also missing, so the main comparison—that manufacturing began highest while retail and healthcare ended jointly highest—is not made clear. The response is 138 words, below the 150-word minimum. Add an accurate overview and select the most important comparisons before describing details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly chronological order, moving from 1960–1980 to 1980–2000 and then 2000–2020. Time phrases such as “During the second period” and “in next period” help readers follow this sequence. However, the writing is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear overview separated from the details, and several connections are difficult to interpret. For example, “retail, agriculture same move up like the previous period” does not clearly explain which sector changed or how. Some linking phrases are repetitive or awkward, and the final sentence combines several trends without clear boundaries. Use an overview paragraph followed by logically grouped comparisons, and make each sentence focus on one or two related trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “jobs,” “period,” “increase,” and “decreasing,” and you attempt to describe the scale with “million.” This gives the response a basic range for reporting trends. However, vocabulary is often repetitive, and inaccurate word forms or collocations make parts difficult to understand: “manufacturing dramaticly increas,” “move to down,” and “decreasingly continously” are not natural ways to describe the data. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “reatil,” “milion,” and “drameticly.” Choose standard trend verbs and check their spelling and forms. More precise language, such as “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “reached,” would make the comparisons clearer and more concise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences and use time clauses, for example, “During the second period 1980 to 2000…” and “in next period in 2000 to 2020…”. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make some relationships unclear. Examples include missing or incorrect verb forms in “manufacturing dramaticly increas” and “agriculture move to down,” as well as agreement and article problems in “This graph divided by on foure decades.” Several sentences lack clear punctuation, and the final sentence joins multiple clauses without a reliable structure. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense verbs consistently to report the historical data.

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